So I like to have conversations on your thoughts on different music and different messages and music, culture, science, relationships, intimacy, anything that you all would like to come talk about. And let's have fun with it. I want to have fun. I don't want it to be anything weird or awkward. This is going to be the type of relationship where we can laugh, we can say some crazy things, we can talk about some crazy things. Nothing's off the table
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 0:50
And then there's this great flow of back and forth because you're talking to them on their Swell cast, they're talking to you on yours, and there's an exceptional focus on stuff that you don't really talk about other places. But here, like you mentioned. So everything's on the table and it's all respectful and it sounds like you're really ready for it. So I wanted welcome you and look forward to hearing your voice on yours
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:59
I am on a couple of dating sites. I will acknowledge I also need to put myself out there more in the community so that I have the opportunity to meet people in person as well. But what I am finding, even when I put myself in social settings and also online, is that it appears some men, not all, but some, they've lost that ability to pursue
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Lance Watson
@lwatsonjr · 2:34
And I'll invite you and try to get to know each other a little bit better. As far as questions, I would only ask for pros one question in this space for you as you begin your Swell journey, and that is, what social media apps do you already use, and how do you feel about those apps? Do those apps add to your life or do they detract from your life? Just share a little bit about that. I love to hear it
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 4:52
It's not what I wanted or not what I wanted to see. And I think that sometimes clouds our view or judgment in relationship. But there are men out there that do pursue women. Maybe not the way our fathers or grandfathers pursues the women in their olive, but there is a sense of a man when he is into a woman, he wants to show that anything else is less of a man
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 4:44
No one needs to come there and critique it and tell you it's not good enough. So that was a funny kind of analogy, but that's what I'm thinking, that you have to put yourself out there in a way where you are just accepting and willing to trust yourself through the dating process
Darren Black
@Sir-Real · 4:58
If you see a guy that you find interesting, break the ice. If he's not getting the message that you find him interesting, then just go speak to him. Maybe that will be enough for him to be like, okay, if she approached me and spoke to me, then it must be okay for me to pursue her. The idea of pursuing beautiful, intelligent women is not something that most men are accustomed to
Darren Black
@Sir-Real · 5:00
As a man who has tried to pursue women that I felt like was out of my league and some were wonderful people, it didn't work out, but they were wonderful people nevertheless. But I didn't grow up being taught how to talk to a lady. It took years of me talking to different types of women on different levels in their life for me to figure out, okay, so this is what women like. This is what a young lady likes
Darren Black
@Sir-Real · 4:59
I'm always contemplating the legacy that I leave behind. So just being on those platforms, it just makes me feel empty a lot of times. So I'm in a place in my life right now where I try to stay off of those and try to force myself to lean more towards progress in the real world. What am I doing? What can I do more of? And it's a lot of work. I'm still fighting that fight, so I haven't got very far
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:05
If you listen to the part of what I asked not only just in dating but just even in the pursuit of life itself, my observation as a woman is you don't see that hunger in men anymore in terms of they either play victim role, not all some or oh, this happened to me. I can't do this, or I have this barrier or this obstacle, or I have this idea, I'm scared to do it. And it's like, you are a man
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 2:40
My sister that made me laugh out loud. I was listening to your response. And I love I love when you said I'm dope as f***. That was is really just refreshing and just wonderful to hear because most women don't think of themselves as that. And I appreciate your response. Sometimes this is the thing about me. I don't mind if not so much be corrected, but just be educated or well informed of what actually was meant by the podcast post
Darren Black
@Sir-Real · 4:18
Hey, I apologize if I misunderstood, and then I'm glad to hear that you're doing very well as well. Okay, so to to address the question you was actually asking me, that's actually a great question, and I don't have a specific answer to it, but a lot of it might have to do with a lot of things that you've already named just now. There are not a lot of men in the home in these last past generations
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:44
But where are the true masculine men who are hunters that follow their own inner track, that they don't need to wait from choosing signals from life or from women to make their move? Because they are confident in who they are and what they want to do and who they want to be and where they are going. And so they don't even have time to think about all of the other stuff. And they don't see rejection as the ultimate death blow
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:56
Okay, that's great, but that's coming from a woman's perspective where the men that are figuratively punching them in the chest to say, hey, okay, so that was tough and that sucked. And now what are you going to do about it? How do you keep going forward? How do you move on? How do you continue to grow and evolve as a man?
Darren Black
@Sir-Real · 4:54
See. Sue, how are you doing today? Yes, you have you have a lot to say and unfortunately I'm not qualified to to answer all of those questions. And you made a lot of valid points. Also, I'd like to point out that I was not saying that she should change herself, but nothing is wrong with adjusting just to open the door. Also, you have a lot to say about men in general, which is fine
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:39
But yes, it is really just important to have these conversations, these diverse conversations and hear diverse perspectives and to raise that awareness of let me think about it or let me observe it in my community. How can I look at that differently? I have the same conversation with women. I also am an admin for an affinity based female group on Facebook. We have upwards of 4000 members and very active group, but there's two other co admins and three moderators
Jasmine M
@MagicalLife · 0:59
I like to listen to a lot of different kinds of music. I am an overthinker. I procrastinate a lot, but I'm really trying to get it under control, because what I understand about overthinking is that it takes you down to those places which can be really bad and lonely, so don't go there. You really need to be be good to yourself and really cut out whatever is taking you down there where you don't want to be, and it's not worth the trip