Something light hearted. (early day transition easthetic)

I think in trying to be overly feminine without actually knowing how to be overly feminine and without actually knowing my own identity, I drew a lot of unwanted, unnecessary attention to myself, and as this progressed, as time went on, I eventually started to develop my own style with regards to femininity, and I realized that I didn't need the makeup to prove that I was female. I didn't need the floral dresses to prove that I was female

Early on in my transition I looked like a mess 90% of the time

Tasha Frank
@NLOFrank · 4:14

Thank you

And that was when I was working in a mental health setting and I had somebody who is a trans woman come in to see me for an appointment, and one of the mental health staff came in to let me know that she'd arrived
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:44

Roles that stick with us

It was part of how we sort of identified her transition. We're so used to sort of the Tootsie version of transvestites, which is a different conversation than transgender. And I really would love you to talk about what you saw as models for yourself that inspired you. And I know you mentioned a couple of them in our original conversation, but how does it feel when you see the Dowdy stuff out there as compared to the sexy, cool I'm in my body stuff that you inhabit so beautifully?
Paul OMahony
@omaniblog · 5:00

Hi Nicole- thank you

Although I also know that I live within a world where gender is a socially constructed framework, if you like, and certain genders putting that in inverted commas are privileged, I suppose I mean by that more powerful than others
Paul OMahony
@omaniblog · 1:46
Hi, Nicole. Just a brief finish to this while I was listening to you, and I was saying to myself, this is fresh. This is not stuff that I've listened to before it came to my mind that a whole lot of other people that I know and spend time with might also find what you have to say fresh, since it's had me feeling that it's done me good to listen to you
nicole louw
@Nicole_louw_ · 3:15

Thank you @NLOFrank

Hey, Tash again. Thank you for buying to my comments. I find it hilarious that that happened with all the, like, mental health professionals and how they could still be judgmental. And I feel like that kind of happens in society like, you have these people who do know better. However, it's so deeply entrenched and so deeply ingrained into us that even while knowing better, people are still judgy
nicole louw
@Nicole_louw_ · 4:18

My brain is all over the place today @DBPardes

And that seems to be the goal for a lot of trans women. I'm definitely not all. And when I started my transition, it was most definitely my goal. I wanted to get to a point where no one would ever tell that I was trans, and I would just be seen as a woman all the time and stuff like that. And I can see the appeal for that goal
nicole louw
@Nicole_louw_ · 2:00

Thank you @omaniblog look forward to chatting

Like you come out a doctor looks between your legs and then determines how a person is going to live the rest of their life based on that small amount of information. So Cisgender basically just is someone who agrees with that classification. So I came out Dr. Luck between my legs said I was male, and I don't agree with that. And that then defines me as trans. But yeah, that's really it. So I'm really glad that you found some value to my swell