The Effects of Early Childhood Adversity - What Tools Have You or A Loved One Used To Overcome Your Challenges?
And I know that the first few months of her life were met with very high Adversity. She went through a lot of trauma, was immediately separated from her birth parents, and was even hospitalized. And from our experience, what Dr. Perry is saying is absolutely true. She was later diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder. We rad a very hard time trying to connect with her, no matter how many times we would seek out help and support to educate ourselves and even get her therapy
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:16
So I really look forward to this conversation growing. I don't have the experience myself, but I just wanted to come in here and say thank you. And I'm hoping that this conversation grows, that your schwab cast grows, that this kind of exchange is just so helpful to build community around this content. I also think that as we move as a society forward with more tender topics that are more out loud, it just is healing for the entire family
I have not been through it myself, but I have been a special education teacher for 16 years now, and I have seen a lot of these traumas firsthand and the effects it does have, not only on the individual going through it, but as you were talking about the families as well. So thank you for this
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:32
And then eventually told my sister, who was older at the time, when it happened, she was six, and she confirmed what I was seeing and added to what I knew. So I blocked it out, basically. And then my trauma didn't stop because I was in the household I was in. And when our parents did find out, because my sister told when I was about twelve, their reaction wasn't enough, in my opinion. So he never went to jail and never whatever
Andrea Potvin
@GoodEnough · 4:41
I always looked at things, like from the perspective that I could see the back of my head and then the person that I was in contact with. So if I had somebody like my parent talking at me or disciplining me was always me seeing the back of my own head and then feeling those things and also checking out on myself, like abandoning myself. It's very bizarre when you have these coping mechanisms and then you carry them into adulthood
And for your child, even as she is an adult, her mind is still protecting her, putting that shield around her, for she will not experience that type of pain again. That's why she's so detached. The mind remember. The mind will always remember. The soul will remember. But to protect her, they wouldn't allow her to remember everything in detail
And I like that idea that from the individual to the family to society as a whole, that as we share what we've learned and share what's working for us, share the ways that we're coping, that we can help each other navigate through this very it's a difficult topic to talk about. It's just a very hard thing to even say out loud, some of these experiences that we've been through. So, yeah, thank you for putting that out there
I have to tell you because as a mom to multiple children who have either been through trauma or have some form of disability, whether it's physical or developmental, I've encountered teachers who really care and who are really engaged. And have chosen to educate themselves on the topics of trauma and even just some of the needs that my teens they're now teens might have. And then there were teachers who didn't necessarily take us seriously
I have listened to a few of your replies and even other people's forecasts, and I am excited to follow you and just see what else you learn as you continue your healing journey. So thank you
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:59
And then that lack of attachment with my dad, he was like, he could be really affectionate and really nice in an instant. One beer too many. It was throwing plates. And I had to defend my mother and my sisters, I had to step in. And that's a lot for a little girl. And then he thought it was cool, so, like, he would have me step in
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:42
And holidays get hard and that's just the truth, but they are not as hard as they would be if I was in that house with those people arguing and fighting and possibly getting physical on a Thanksgiving holiday. And it causes this attachment disorder, right? Because you have confusion about attachment. So yeah, at this age, here we are, 45, girl, we have so much in common. I have to journal, I have to write letters to them
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
And while it's not a pleasant experience, it does go to show just how hard our brains are working to protect us. So I think that is just something to consider as we think about the ways that we cope. And you are right on finding the right therapist. I think especially a therapist who has a form of trauma based education, we have experienced the frustrations of finding someone who understands that, especially with my daughter. That the one I was talking about earlier
And I have actually had to work on healing from betraying myself in some moments with other people where I really needed to express my wants, my needs, and just even my perspective on how situations were being handled. So I love that what you're doing. I love how it creates an environment to foster resiliency. And I think that is key. I think it is also so important that when we take these very difficult steps, I think it can be difficult to do it in the beginning
I think they could get there if they wanted to work on their healing process, but if they're feeling so wounded that they are even afraid to do that, I think that the mind can just take over