And I hope you are moving onward and upward in your respective journeys and continuing to share and discuss awesome content on here. The question topic I have today for you, though, is what are your strategies to maintaining how much access someone has with you? Like, what is your boundary? What is your understanding with that? How do you approach it? Because for me, I've been noticing that I am sociable, sure, but I'm very much like I can be by myself
Shehla Faizi
@iamatopodcast · 2:59
They don't have to like it immediately, but they'll understand that this is important to this person and I care about that person and I will do it for them. And again, like I said, I was younger and you're more foolish and you don't have a whole lot of boundaries set in place, but there's nothing more important than your own overall well being. And I've learned over the years that people are very fickle
And I was thinking, wow, someone that used to be very close to me shared that when I had issues, at first when we were connecting, they weren't responding to things, not just like talking stuff, but like actual important things that I wanted to discuss. They're like, you know how much energy it takes for me to respond. I really set up a boundary to let people know that I am not just going to respond all the time, every time, anytime
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:32
Adam. Hello to you, sir. You know, there was a time, or there are times I should say still something I struggle with where I'm unaware of the access that I'm allowing to people until it manifests us in other aspects of my life. Even just recently I was on Swell and there was a situation where I had a conversation that spilled over into someone else's Swell
Like, there's a sense of urgency. It's like, oh, the world is going to be on fire if I don't reply. But yet the same respect is not always understood or approached by the other individual. So thank you
I usually try to start with a conversation, but usually it's never really understood because I think that a lot of people don't necessarily take steps to have our boundaries and create this space of alone time and so on. And so it's sort of a foreign idea for someone to receive the information that there needs to be a different sort of interaction and they don't know how to process that except to take it personally. Sometimes I'll just withdraw for a bit, maybe I mute their messages specifically
We can operate that way where we know that there are just some people that you feel so comfortable with that you don't require a lot of self configuring and wondering and processing and boundary holding consciously as far as you just really vibe with that person. And it's awesome. And they don't impose, they don't cause harm. There's no danger there. That's just a really awesome experience to have and connect. But thanks for popping on here and have a great weekend. Take care
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:57
So she initially after he died, she was really throwing it out there heavy and hard. Oh, I'm your only parent. You should allow all of these things. And so she threw that out there one time, and I did flex on it that initial first two years after he passed, because she was in a really bad space. They were married for 41 years, and after she started to be a little bit better, I was like, okay, yeah
And I loved how you said the whole scenario with your son, because that's something that I haven't really even thought about in terms of just measuring, like, okay, if I just met you, am I just giving you the all access pass? Which a lot of times I have out of just an instant connection and seeing after that experience we have some shared qualities and interests and connect well. But I don't set up the tone and the standard for what's going to happen afterwards