We have a tendency to rewrite the story because sometimes we just don't remember it being that bad. Now, of course, the way we tell our stories and the way we remember our stories are subjective. If the wound is deep enough, of course we're going to tell the story in a way that could provoke a certain emotion from the person that hears it. If we are the cause or the villain in the story, we have a tendency to kind of make the details a little less severe
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:03
I've stolen money from loved ones. I've deceived people. But I've also deceived myself. I've also lied to myself. Are these things that my family members and friends and et cetera will define me as for the rest of time? Possibly. But that should not be the deciding factor on how I want to be remembered forever. So although I can be the villain in other people's stories, so can they in their own story
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:22
But I also realized later on in life that the man that I was involved with at the time that our relationship led me to do the action and got me fired for a long time, that man was the villain in my story, and I had to finally realize that, oops, he really was not the villain. He was really doing all that he ever said he would do. He never said, Anngela, I love you and protect you and keep you from doing harm
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Becky Butler
@bc75 · 2:45
Not everybody's happy with us from moment to moment to day by day, week by week, and sometimes year by year and being the negative or being the heavy or being that person that has to carry that burden on their shoulders with what to share, what to share? With what? With to share. And I think we can be both. I think we can jump from one to another, and I think, to a degree, we can intermingle both
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:15
And I apologize that I did not wait to marry you until I was in a better place where I could marry you and be the wife that you needed me to be. I apologize for that. I've definitely said that to both of my ex husbands because I was not in a good place myself, especially with my first husband, because he had a problem with addiction
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:46
We try to play it up like it wasn't that bad, or situations where we just pretend like we don't remember any of that taking place. It really bothers me when I hear adults recount their childhood traumas and their parents sitting there going, I don't remember any of that happening. I don't remember none of that. Oh, it just makes me so angry. It makes me so angry to hear that, because there is no way your child is making all this stuff up
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:00
Because we're always looking for an excuse we're always looking for an excuse outside of ourselves. The reason why I did not step out on this opportunity, the reason why this relationship went wrong, the reason why we're looking for an excuse outside of ourselves, but really, we have nobody to blame but ourselves in certain situations. So, yes, and thank you for your transparency. I've wronged my parents, too. I've stolen from my parents as well. I've wronged my parents
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:21
But then you got some of us that are just we're the villain because what we did was wrong and it was hurtful what we did to someone else. But that's not our character. That's not our nature. That's not who we are. We just made a mistake in that moment. So thank you so much for your input
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:00
Like, I can sleep well at night knowing I'm that kind of villain because I didn't hurt you. You just could not have your way with me. And to your point about the narcissism, I got guy friends that always claim that every girl they get with is crazy. And when you're close to these people, you really just take them at their words sometimes. Why you keep getting with these crazy chicks? Why you keep getting with these chicks to be acting this way and that way?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:28
And I had to get to a point where just because somebody's a villain in my life doesn't mean they're a villain in anyone else's life. And I can't get upset at people liking them because these people don't know that side of them or that experience that I had. So I can't get mad at them for liking them. They like them based on what they know, and they don't know me, and they don't know what happened with me
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:09
Hey, SIS, thank you so much for your input. The only time I wouldn't mind being a villain is that like with Angela said, if I'm standing up for myself, calling something out and being confident in who I am, I don't mind being the villain in somebody's story in a case like that. However, I don't want to be a villain in anybody's story, but I know I will be at some point s whether I sign up for it or not
I'm going to do it again, but I'm still I don't know what I'm going to do. I know I don't got it, that's for sure. I know I don't got it. And, man, we talk about pain. We talk about pain. One thing I know I can do is apologize right away as soon as I know, because I know better. Inadvertently did this. I didn't even see it. None of that
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 3:24
If I actually did do you wrong, we're not perfect. I'm a villain in somebody's story, I'm sure. And I have people that there are villains in my story as well. Like, they did me very dirty. A lot of people till this day have not been able to be like, hey, I'm really, really sorry for what I did to you. Like, that was wrong. I should not have moved that way. They can't do that
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:56
So that's two separate hurts I have to contend with there. Yeah, you're right. Sometimes that explanation, it just makes things worse and not better. So thank you so much for this
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:20
Hey says thank you so much for your input. You're right. Accountability, the lowering of ourselves, humility, that's something that's very difficult in our culture because it's something that our culture in general, I'm talking about this modern culture does not celebrate humility. We don't promote humility. We're all about self. We're all about individualism. What's best for me, doing what works for me
Sometimes it seemed like it was more about being married or being in family relationships. And I've heard it before I've said it myself, Mike. Being in love with the idea of being in love. And it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work, but it was a tough one with that. Just be quiet, you know what I mean? It's hard to do. It's hard to do for me. But thank you for your response. I appreciate you
Shawna Barnes
@ShawnaBarnes · 3:31
I have not forgotten the time in high school when there was a young man, Leroy, and I had a crazy crush on him. Drove him crazy. Sat with him in class and I said, hey, you're going to go to the senior party? And he said he didn't want to go. Bugged him. He said, I'll go, but you promised to be there. And I said yes
