Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 4:32
Is it better to remain SILENT when you’re ANGRY or EMOTIONAL or to SPEAK YOUR MIND?
So when I talk about this today, it's more like a therapy for me as well, because I'm telling you, sometimes, trying to find my peace, I have to be quiet. And in order to do that, I have to collect my thoughts and then try to present them in a controlled way after I've calmed down. But not all the time do you get a moment to calm down. So is it better to remain silent when you're angry or emotional?
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 3:15
Hey, Evelyn, I wanted to thank you for this conversation. And I'm linking a topic similar to this that I posted in giving voice in 2021, just about this topic. When do we use our voice? During frustration and anger? How do we do it? What choices do we have? And I feel like it's very contextual and it's very much about how much breathing you're doing before you actually express yourself. But I think each person has their kind of context, right?
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 3:07
So that tell me right there that arguing back with people, getting emotional can literally steal years away from your life. Again. We're human. We can't help but to argue back. And a lot of us are passionate about things. But that was an eye opener for me. I said, I'm going to try my darndest not to get that upset ever again because that's taking years from my life. Because now we're talking about medical now
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 0:39
How can I lower my tone and still be direct or still be an efficient listener? So this is why I posted this. Well, so thank you so much. I really appreciate
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 5:00
This is not her normal and I'm just going to be patient with her and so we're able to laugh about it now because listen honey some of the conversations we had were crazy anyway so yeah I just say my answer to that is to create some level of detachment or employ practices of detachment before responding. Make sure that you're able to emotionally regulate yourself and then respond from that space
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 2:12
Okay, have a great day. Love you. You know what I'm saying? I'm out. You're not going to poison me. You're not going to put that poison, ooze it into my soul. No, go head on. But anyway, I know the remedy. The remedy is just to calm down, be quiet, gather my thoughts, and think about what I would like to say without hurting that person's feelings. And sometimes that's really hard
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 2:12
Hey, Jl, I thank you for know. Me and my husband have had some real conversations, the real heated conversations. And I feel like, am I speaking English? Am I speaking Greek? Because you're not understanding what I just said. But I have to learn how to. And I am learning. I'm implementing different strategies now of allowing him to process what I just said
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
L A
@homosanity · 4:43
As a teacher, I'm really good with parents. I really am. And I can see the angle of this is their child, so they're very protective. But it's difficult when somebody is coming at you and coming at you in a very learn way when they're being very derogatory. So that's somewhat of a challenge for me. Some friendships too, also. So it's hard for me. I just want to lash back. And the thing with me is being right
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 1:37
Hey, brother, first of all, let me say, I have worked with narcissistic people to the umpteenth degree. And I know you're struggling right now. I mean, like, struggling not to fully cuss them out, but I would advise against it because it is your job. And then two, because you're giving them what they want. He wants you to be mean. He wants to find a reason to piss you off. Don't give it to him
Cheyonia Wade
@Chey · 4:56
Like, if you're not listening to what I'm saying in a calm voice and I have to get angry, I'm not talking to you anymore because now you're raising things. My blood pressure, all these different things. We don't want that. Don't want to be bothered with that. And then it was like, she won't talk to me. I'm like, what's the purpose of talking to someone who's not listening?
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 1:09
So I try my best to avoid situation that are going to require me to have a conflict or groups or people that have different opinions than I do. And then also I just try to say to myself, because people get on my nerves and then I won't have to say anything bad. But when I do get into a situation, I try to assess it and say, okay, down. Let me think about it. Let me try to talk to them in a manner that they'll understand
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 2:11
Because you deserve to know how I feel and I deserve to know how you feel and why. So communication is a must. I won't be with anybody if they can't communicate with me. If you can't tell me you upset and why we got to wait five days and the next thing you know, you mad because you hear the water running. That's an issue. That's a problem
Sheila Rice
@SheShe10 · 4:56
But when I have sound mind and I know that, I know that I should not be treated a certain way or certain things should have happened differently, I have reassurance in myself and I don't need to be verbal and share and tell anyone how they've hurt me or treated me or straightened them out even. But it is hard when you have a relationship with people and with loved ones that you have to share things with as your family. And sometimes it's kind of hard
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 1:44
We haven't had a time to process what was said to us or what was done to us or what was going on at the moment. And that's why I said, if you get an opportunity, if you get an opportunity to walk away, it's best just to walk away for a minute and try to regroup and reconsider and get your thoughts together. But not all the time do we get that. So I understand
Isoellen Writes
@Isoellen · 5:00
So in the romance author community, I don't know if you've been on book talk, but or social media or whatever it can be, people get mad when you say it's drama, but there's always drama. There's always something, there's always some offense and something happening. There's a lot of controversy with AI. I saw a post this morning that was on that
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 0:37
It's. Thank you so much for commenting on this. Well, I really appreciate what you said because sometimes it is so hard to navigate social media. Yeah. Sometimes you want to say so many things and then you're like, oh, my God, let me just be quiet. Because the blowback that you get in regards to saying anything to begin with, some is so positive, but most of it can be really negative. So I get you. I get what you're saying
