Well, I'm hoping to be able to share with you all a little bit about some of the struggles I've faced as an immigrant who grew up in the United States to parents who really kind of had to just hustle through life and get through, but for whatever reason, they didn't have the support they needed. So my parents doled out a lot of their own personal traumas onto me. And it was from a very young age that I kind of made myself a promise
Kaixi Zhang
@xiwriteslove · 3:28
So I wanted to kind of just share all of that initially and hear if anyone else had a similar experience and what that was like for you, if you've had an opportunity to safely revisit some of those past traumatic experiences and if you found that it helped you or wasn't nearly as helpful in being able to heal and overcome from those. Would love to seriously just share what you're comfortable with
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:49
I understand the path that it requires, and it is for sure an island experience. And what I mean by that is when you are breaking a cycle in a family that has gone on for generations, people will look at you as you are odd. You become the Bruno. If you're familiar with that Disney movie of the family, and people don't talk about Bruno, right?
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:22
If I wouldn't allow a stranger access to me in certain ways, why then would I say just because we share the same DNA, you can berate me, disrespect me, misuse me, abuse me, because you're a family
Kaixi Zhang
@xiwriteslove · 5:00
Then I was too deep into everything to just kind of understand how messed up that was. So I moved to Alabama, of all places, from Nebraska. Ultimately ended up leaving him one day when he said that I was the reason why he started smoking cigarettes again. And I said, screw that. I'm not the reason why you choose to live this existence in Apathy
Kaixi Zhang
@xiwriteslove · 4:59
I can't say that I, over time, have found where I want to continue being involved in my parents life. That is kind of the sad realization that I've come to. Of course, it's still on an ongoing basis. I haven't completely cut them out of my life, but I do kind of see, like, a pattern