Soul Talks~ Humanity Speaks with Neha Sonney #soultalks #humanityspeaks #childabuse #life #challenges #selflove #swellcast #healing #humanbehaviour
I am sure this will guide all of us on our journey towards a happy, peaceful and a blissful life. So once again, I welcome you Nehaji in our episode of Soul talks and thank you very much for accepting this request to be our guest here today
Thank you Nehaji, for being with us in this series of soul talks and I am very excited and happy because of the topic of the day, what we choosed to discuss. And I would like to say thanks to you for touching on this beautiful aspect of life ie self love in your book. Before going ahead, I would love to know about your childhood memories, your school days. What did you enjoy most during those days in your life?
So a lot of time, and throughout my early childhood, I did not have friends, and I used to play a lot by myself. So what I ended up doing was collect scraps of cloth and make clothes out of that for dolls. I used to make broken jewelry and wear that. I used to observe things around me like I do still now. And one time I was helping a neighbor fix his bike because I figured out how to fix a chain on the bike. And I was
That's wonderful to know your childhood memories, your childhood early days experiences. Now when child grows in the teenage even dream Hotahe IK goals, life experiences, first time experiences and you don't know what to do, how to take it up and what is right, what is wrong. So all these dilemmas are there in the life and you have to work upon your skills, education, knowledge and seek a path for your career experiences, situations. He Joaap ki life decisions
That kind of bullying did not affect me as much as the bullying and the abandonment, emotional abandonment, abuse, gaslighting that I experienced from my own mother. I did not. It was not helpful at all. And I used to walk on eggshells. I was so, so, so scared of her. Teenage okay, you start to have liking towards the opposite sex
When you are. When you are in a narcissistic, abusive relationship with anyone, whether it is a parent or a partner, you cannot be yourself around them at all. So that was the case for me. And I could not share anything about myself. Basically, my desires, my wants, anything and everything about me does not matter. This was the narrative that I received and that I was living in a state of fear constantly
We focus on how people are behaving with us, how they are responding to us, why people are not bothering about us. So what I am trying to say is how important it is for us as an individual, as a human being, to look towards ourselves rather than to others, and at what point of time it becomes an issue. So while you will share with us about these responses before that, I also request you to tell us about your journey of writing this book
This journey of self love and writing my book was a lot about getting to know myself. And how did I do all of those things to get to know myself? So the processes involved not just writing the book, the book writing happened much later. Before that, I was meditating. I became a mother. And I used to understand. I used to see and observe myself
Because if you don't know, you cannot communicate that. And communication is the foundation of any and every relationship. When you enter relationships, self love becomes even more important because you, if you don't have a relationship with yourself, it's like everything else falls out. Your foundation is weak and you don't want that kind of a scenario for your relationship
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Nehaji now, because the topic is very relevant and very specific. So one question comes to my mind is, what is narcissistic behavior? What is narcissistic parenting? And what happens to adults who endure childhood trauma from a narcissistic parenting or narcissistic parent?
One day, she was angry with me, so she decided to make me sit down next to the dustbin, and she never came back to get me from there. And as children, we children, as children, we look up to our parents, and parents are God to us, and it's tormenting to realize that this is how your parent is. We don't get other parents right. This is the only experience I had, and this is what it was like
You experience emotional abandonment, you are being gaslit, there is physical abuse, there is a boundary violation. There is no identity of yours. You just are the child and you don't have an identity of your own. You don't have a sense of agency, you don't have a sense of self power. Nothing, there is extreme criticism and nothing that you do is ever right. Only the narcissist and what the narcissist parent thinks is right is right
So if they are using those tips or steps, they can slowly and slowly can come out of this mental state, physical state or emotional state, and they can start their journey of
So it's going to look very, very different for each person or slightly different for people who have child trauma, because many things can cause child trauma, even just five minutes of a parent disappearing or losing a parent, which did not happen with me. That can also be a traumatic experience. And we can make some sense of, and we try to make sense out of the experiences that we had in our own child mind. And our mind is not mature enough to make actual proper decisions
If you have the habit of explaining yourself to others, catch yourself while you're explaining yourself, because that's a behavior that you're possibly looking for some sort of mercy, some sort of validation, or some sort of approval from someone and from a healthy person and a healthy relationship, you do not need that. They give it to you. They understand you. And in a toxic relationship, they, no matter what you do, they will not understand when you place boundaries
And because they are not bothering you yesterday or tomorrow, they are bothering you right here, right now in your mind and body. Your mind and body are not separate. So don't try to treat the mentor with the mind because that's not going to be helpful. Trauma is, is not what happened to you. Trauma is what happened as a result of what happened to you