"What PTSD Feels Like" a poem by Elizabeth Gade first published in Nine Cloud Journal
I can never outrun it or out drink it or outfuck it. It's the shadow that forever looms. It's the isolation in the eye of a storm. It's a two way mirror I can see out of but they can never see in. No one can ever see me. It's the shame that comes in waves. It's the shame. It's how my brain punishes me for talking about it. I deserved it. It feels like I'm drowning when I'm breathing