What message can inspire being more, when it's perceived as being less?
I'll put a link in the description talking about the different thinking errors that come about with incels and how those shape the way that they perceive, make sense of the world and even move through the world. And so I can look at the incel that I interacted with and see so many of those thought errors. And so one way we might counter toxic masculinity, or in this case the incel, would be to deconstruct the thought errors
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:21
I think, a good selling point. And maybe this doesn't really help and it perpetuates the issue, but I think there's a certain level of authenticity that can be had when you expose yourself to elements of aspects of let's. Say for a man aspects of of one's femininity that, if left dormant and unchecked, can foster this caricature of what a person sees as themselves
Or any question of why does society say this? And just because society says this, why should I follow it? Like no questions like that. It's just these are the systems and the structures that were established. This is how I'm supposed to live and it didn't work. And again it's women's fault. Which is so strange to me because obviously if you're talking about how all of these things were laid out, women didn't design those things, right?
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:54
That's what they decide to do. And yeah, I understand the morbid curiosity of their viewpoints. I watch a couple YouTube channels that are incel inspired or advocates, and it's very interesting what they deduce often. And you could tell also, though, that they they can have the choice of dating, but they don't want to date average looking women. They want the top shelf, and it's just unrealistic expectations to even begin with. But that's a whole nother conversation for another day
And when you talked about the market share and the number of likes, I think this fits into some of that too, where if one measures one's entitlement by either material goods or status or the things that one has accomplished or achieved, it's like ticking all these boxes. But it's meaningless. Like you said, it's not about really connection. And I think that a lot of these individuals are looking for the checking of the boxes
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:56
But you can hear it also even in those who aren't necessarily incels, but they still tend to view women in this value system sort of way. There's been this real fixation with body count and one guy tried to explain why body count was so important and he says if you had shoes for over 40 years and you wore them all these times, they probably ain't going to feel as good on your feet
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:59
This is JL. Great question, Christina. And I'm not sure if my answer will even touch the surface because I'm not a man. I can only articulate what works for me to receive from men. So I'll speak from that angle in an attempt to answer your question. And what I would say is for both sides, because in communication, there's a receiver and a sender
And the more change comes in the direction of what women are seeking to achieve or do with life, whether that's certain types of jobs or certain respect or going about relationships differently or whatever. If there hasn't been that same path for men, then there's going to be these discrepancies that get even wider between what's been told ought to be what women have been striving for, right? Those are no longer align
And when those things don't go their way, instead of looking at, let's say, jeans with respect to how tall they are or looking at any sort of self reflection on their character with interacting with a woman or getting focused on not getting the job they want or the amount of money they want, then it's women's fault that women only supposedly only want men with this caliber of a job or this caliber of a title or this kind of car or this height. Right?
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:02
No, it just means that she's not attracted to you, and that's okay. Move on to the next chick that you want to talk to, man. That's crazy. No, but thank you for making the effort to come back and explain that. I think I have maybe a little bit more of an idea. I appreciate it
Yeah, that seems to be something somewhat common, I guess. Or at least I'm starting to see more of that where they claim they're abstaining. But I'm like, do you not know what the word incel means? If you're using it to describe yourself, it's involuntarily celibate. That's not choosing to abstain. Even the guy that I was talking to said the same thing. Well, well, I don't want a relationship