When "experience" is limited, my steps grow hesitant.
If you're new to listening, I'm an autistic ADHD adult woman, late diagnosed, only learned when I was 46. I'm now 48. So I'm learning more and more about my brain and how I operate. I thrive off of conversations where I can explore and discover new things. When I can throw out a thought and somebody can push back on me but not push back from a place of argumentativeness
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 3:45
Relationships I've enjoyed the most with people who, like you said, I'm not arguing with me, but they are pushing back. They're coming at me with a different angle. They're thinking differently. Something that I have never considered throughout their from their own experience or just how they see things. They're bringing something different. And then you gain a new understanding and then a new confidence and also a great relationship. And those are the relationships that I have loved having with people
I used to get a lot of it from conversations on clubhouse and then we would occasionally get them here and there are always seasons, things change and shift and I'm just in one of those lulls it. Anyway, I just really appreciated your reply. I felt heard, there's nothing I had to explain or elaborate on and I just loved your analogies so, so much. Thank you
And so then it's like, okay, well, now that I can recognize there are these seasons, and I can recognize that everyone's doing their own thing and different interests and so on. Okay, well, how do I go about finding this sparring that I need and not sparring the way you often see it on Clubhouse for sparring, just for the sake of sparring? I'm looking for the explorative, discovering conversations that really dig into things, not to one up one another or win
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:41
It's not just surface conversation and it's not somebody who is, like you said, trying to just one up on you or it's not ego driven where somebody's trying to put you on the back foot all the time just for the sake of it. It's people who take the time to actually the conversations don't always have to be deep, but they can be. They ask how you are, they really mean how you are, how are you?
Like, you have the knowledge of whatever you've shared together and that continued growth of knowledge and then acting on that knowledge between one another creates the stronger bonds, right? So, for example, if you share stories with, let's say, the person that you go to her home and she shares experiences with you and you both have that information and then you use that to build upon and you can build bonds with that. And there can be confidence that's built there
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:50
Yeah, I totally agree with you. I think that you form a confidence between you through shared experience and you immediately connect in that way. But I understand what you mean when you say that you don't have if you don't have these conversations and you're left with your own own thoughts, your own conversations by yourself, your confidence can be shaken in some ways
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
And this might be a weird example, and I don't even know if this fits exactly, but let's say you have the knowledge to know how to skateboard, and then you've experienced it enough times that you're comfortable with even messing up, that you can then delve into something different, let's say like rollerblading, without almost with complete abandon, right? Because there is a safety in knowing, you know, how to handle your body
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:19
So if you've got a fighter who's never been in front of a crowd and suddenly you put him in an arena like the O two or Madison Square Garden or something, it would take a very special person to be able to overcome that. They need to have experienced it slowly so that they can be creative in that ring and that's conditioning. So it's the same thing, isn't it?
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:58
I teach healing, journey content to people. I got this. I was approaching it from that angle. But meanwhile, still nervous as hell about this speech. And when I listened to that reel and I went back to my speech to pretend that I was giving it to delivering it to the audience, I realized I was not prepared. Yes, I have been through domestic violence. Yes, I am continuing to successfully progress my healing journey with some real life moments
And I love to hear about, like, this journey that you've been on yourself, of speaking and the decisions that you want to make about being a better speaker or a communicator or sharing or educating, whatever your goals are and the paths that you're taking to get there. It's it's really beautiful. JL