When compassion "goes wrong"? 🤔
I think the way that I form my thinking around compassion is that it's done in response to somebody else's suffering, or it's done when we're having to tell somebody something that's going to cause suffering. But I don't think talking about ideas or about ourselves needs to be done in any particular way to address the possibility of someone suffering, because we simply don't know. Right?
Tara
@EnigmasNextDoor · 5:00
Versus on the other side, there are some people who don't think through at all how something might make people feel before they say it, and I'm not saying overthink. And then they don't think about it after either. And I don't have the answer to what's the right amount. I also don't think there is one right amount. I think it really depends on the situation
And then trying to accommodate for all of these things, I think is an unrealistic ask. At least that's where my thinking is at the moment. But it was something else that's also interesting with respect to the subtext and so on. I was in that same room, and at one point, I can't remember what I was speaking about, but I was speaking about, oh, things like karma, what goes around comes around, et cetera
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:56
Not saying that you shouldn't be considerate of what works for that person, but it really should come from me first. And then I can take into consideration the other person's preference. But based on when and how I want to show up first, everything I believe should start with the individual. And I agree
And he's been struggling because he's got his own ideas of what his parents, how their relationship played out, and then the ideas of happy wife, happy life, and trying to fit himself into these external ideas without saying, hey, what is it that I want? What kind of husband do I want to be? How do I want to support my partner, let alone how does she need to be supported?