I keep forgetting "truth" isn't the point.
And they're always based, it seems, around self presentation and hierarchies and elevating and demoting others and self and status and reputation and all of these other things that the lies, white lies, fibs, whatever else you want to call them, are all used as a tool, as a vehicle for the presentation of self
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 0:41
But yeah, it took me so long to really, really not just realized by word, but by my own experience and results. The world don't necessarily work that way. And it's unfortunate. I think it's unnecessary. But I don't know, there are probably so many reasons that that's the case
Although again, I've made these observations in these different ways, I always fall back to the messaging of my childhood, only tell the truth. But it isn't that exactly how things are
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:59
Now, there's some filtering and such, because you can't control what other people are doing, but you can seek out what is true. And it's important to practice empathy as well, because a lot of people who are actually pretty truthful people do sometimes tell falsehoods, or selectively at least. And that doesn't make them liars, exactly. Or lying is on a spectrum. So a liar is someone who generally tells lies or tells lies that deliberately harm people, broadly speaking
And it just makes things not only duplicitous from our perspective, but also like rat's nest to try to figure out what in the world is going on here. Why are they saying the fib? Why are they being duplicitous? Is it because of the relational dynamics between the two of us? Is it about them? Are they having a bad day? Are they just not wanting to talk about it now? Or do you know what I mean?
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:58
And again, it doesn't make them liars necessarily, but it probably places them more on the untrustworthy spectrum than the other end. So over time, probably only a little bit of time, there will be measures to exclude these individuals from most normal people's lives because they lie too much and about too many things, and people don't like that in general. Um, yeah. And beyond, beyond even labels sometimes
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:27
But it goes the other way as well. So even very vibrant cultures, they don't have to be tight knit communities, certainly not cloistered. But there are things that define that. Practices that define them. And those who do not share in that are guests. They're not part of the culture. So that's the way I look at it anyways. And then the other aspect is something that's always troubled me is that, well, autism is not well understood by most people
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:55
So it needs to be a relatively simple message, although sometimes the message isn't so simple, because the filmmaker, for whatever reason, wants to make a more complex character and or story, which usually is something that is more likely to interest me, because most of the notorious summer action flick thing I don't usually go to. There's been times when I just couldn't stand the movies
Yeah, I've definitely seen television and movie presentations of representations, I guess you could say, of autistics, and some of them get it way wrong. Some of them get it hints of. And you can definitely see it was written by a neurotypical. Other times, it's like, wow. And I did watch that show touch, and I was impressed by his acting skills as well. Did you know Anthony Hopkins is autistic? He was late diagnosed
It's sort of the running meme on nearly every platform about how anyone who's neurodivergent can spot a fellow neurodivergent and we seem redrawn to each other. I get really annoyed when there's a show, I can't remember what it's called. It's a reality show. There was one done in Australia, I think, and then the US did it. Oh, love on a spectrum. Maybe the one in Australia did it in a way that seemed to celebrate autistics
I liked when you highlighted that often groups are based on exclusion rather than the inclusion, the ideas that they claim that they're all about. I think that is so bang on. And also when you talked about how writers or directors or whatever do things based on stereotypes, you know what? It's really irritating to me when something that's being created is done with the focal point of something like autism or anything else, and instead they run with. I see stereotypes as like a doorway
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:09
I won't deny because being dishonest was modeled for me, aka being nice was modeled for me. I did that most of my adult life up until three ish years ago and are consistently up until three years ago, we're now more consistently just authentically me. And I have to be honest, I lost track of what I said to people. And then people remember what you said to them
Because we've got this idea of this is what it means to be a man or a woman or a person from this country or this sexuality or whatever, right? Instead of all of the nuances and complexities, we haven't got time, we haven't got the cognitive processing for these kinds of things. Instead, we have to somehow keep running
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:53
But basically what happened in real life was, yes, he bet against the housing market, but he did it over time. It wasn't one big thing. And the payouts were delayed. And all the other stuff that happened, the payouts happened over multiple times. It wasn't all one big thing. So it wasn't as risky as the movie portrayed
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 5:00
And they blithely. Well, maybe they grumble, but they mostly blithely accept the situation because well, there's not much they can or will do about it. I definitely have some ideas about ways to improve the system, and also I think I've identified certain things that are happening that are an improvement on the system. School vouchers would generally be one of those ideas. I know some people, and again, that atrophy
And that I would rather, in a way, give them the gift of their space to just be, without being a celebrity. Right? To be the fullness in all its dimensionality of who they are rather than the single sliver of their celebrity. But that's not how everybody sees that or approaches them or anything. It's fascinating and strange. I definitely agree that the education system needs an overhaul. I don't know if I think of it as atrophy, atrifying, atrophied
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:53
Generally, I support private schools, although they can be quite mixed as well. I generally support home schooling. I would advocate a system that has it like, I don't know, a quarterly assessment type thing, not a lengthy task. It could be widely variant. Let's say it was 100 questions, more or less, and some essay questions and things like that. So the student, let's say they were home schooled and they would appear before a panel and do the work there
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:57
It. And that's the mentality I've encountered with autism as well, which really irritates me. They say, oh, well, you're weak on these things, so you got to do. You got to work on them. No, it's the same thing in business thinking. A lot of times this obsession, again with, well, what? Roundedness. I say lean into your strengths, work on your strengths, compensate for your weaknesses
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:58
There were a couple of not so great teachers who I had problems with and a lot of other students had problems with, by the way. But yeah, I'm not sure how many people were in there, but once in a while there was a rude and obnoxious student who would make trouble for everyone. It kind of got cordoned off in a way. Again, formally in the different group, peer groups. Yeah, but. And experts would. Would do this as well
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:59
I guess that can be mildly entertaining sometimes, but yeah, it's not substantive. It's also not something people can do much about. So, like complaining about it, sure. But before the summer, people should stock up on gas, because gas prices almost always go up in summer for a variety of reasons. And there's other practical tips, but blaming someone?
Rather than set up a structure, a system in place that almost ossifies and is harder to shift it one way or the other when it's needed to because we've been doing education largely in the same way since the Industrial Revolution. And I think too the same when it comes to autistic individuals
Like all the stupid things going through my head because they want eye contact. I can't do it when I'm speaking. It's simply too much. So I wish that I could. What's the word? I want fluff off the programming of making eye contact because it's detrimental to conversation. But I can't. I really prefer when I'm in a physical space with someone that allows me to do something else at the same time
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 2:42
It? Yeah. A lot of times I'm trying to communicate that I've listened what they say and show it, but they think I'm going off on a tangent or something. Just because something that. Just because my explanation reaches off into other subjects doesn't mean I'm going off on a tangent. I mean, I did that more when I was younger, I suppose. And sometimes I did go off on tangents when I was young. I still do in a way
And I realized as I was listening to you, that I think there are times, depending on who I'm speaking with, that I can incorporate. I guess it's a privilege of being a woman, especially if I'm having conversations with typically men, because those are the people I typically have conversations about ideas with
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:49
Hey, I just wanted to add one additional piece that came to mind. There is a scripture in the Bible, and I know in your history, Christianity is a part of your history, so you might vaguely recall it. Now, again, I don't have this memorized, but I remember reading something to this effect. But mind very clear, when you were speaking about how children are doing it, right from the Instagram reel you had seen
I love this take that you have. Like, there are so many things that we teach kids overtly and covertly that they internalize and it shapes them for good and bad. And there's so much we're losing by the way that we are shaping them, right? I saw a study not long ago that was talking about how they tested kids for genius at a young age. I don't remember what it was
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:58
Well, the last thing you said that your skills with finding heels, pain points and such seem to be slipping. Well, yeah, I mean, if they're not useful, I suppose that'll sort of happen. Yeah. Some things can be just too much of a burden to do. I think I might have done the same type of thing. I was trying to figure out what makes people tick, why they do what they do, and there's like any number of questions
Joshua Tito
@ozzymendez · 4:59
Um, it's something that's hardwired in us, in in humans, to to sort of default towards certain things. And to your point about sometimes having to change your language, sometimes dramatically date in conversations with guys because of a few reasons. One of them is that if there's a certain threat, a presence, even, of violence with guys, not so with women, typically, I've noticed. It doesn't mean that they're going to be violent
When you look at the hunters and gatherers, there's a recent study that was done this past year where they found that the idea that the men were hunters and women were gatherers was completely upended because a lot of the information had been based on, let's say, a scientist looking back on previous studies, which is based on previous studies
Where I can't imagine and of course, I don't know, but I can't imagine going back to, like, hunters and gatherers that there would have been innately in us some need for men to quote, unquote, prove manhood. Would we even have had ideas of, quote unquote, manhood? Right. Or womanhood. We just would have been women and men. And you know what I mean
