Are you pleased with people or are you people pleasing
I was actually doing things for people, like setting them up for a future date for when I needed something. And if they didn't do what I needed them to do, then it was drama. It was nasty, and it's a nasty defect, and it's called people pleasing. And I really was doing it maybe, I guess, to feel valuable to someone or maybe even have someone in my debt. So that way maybe because they'd stay around, you know what I mean?
But if you feel a bit empty, it's dangerous because it creates needs and resentment, perhaps, as you said, because the person doesn't as you implied, because the other person possibly doesn't give back or doesn't respond. Yes, it's difficult to change one's temperament. I think it's related to the basic structure of ourselves. Some people people people are like that are always giving and others are more egoistic, self centered and expecting others to serve them
He said, what does that have to do with you? I said, well, she wanted purple flowers, and I had to go all over town trying to find these purple flowers, and she just let them die, like she didn't even care. He told me, they're her flowers. They're not your flowers. After you give them to her, she can do whatever she wants to do with them
Dr. V Williams
@Ph.D.V · 2:44
Honesty, transparency then vulnerability are the levels in relationships which determines the level of closeness or intimacy we have in relationships. So just knowing that people people that we're being vulnerable with or we are being transparent with a lot of times we don't even recognize how important it is for us to put them in their proper place. And once you put people, people, people in their proper place then you don't have to worry about pleasing
Dr. V Williams
@Ph.D.V · 0:10
Hello. Unfortunately, I'm not able to hear anything of your response. If you would just repost, I would truly appreciate it. Want to hear what you had to say. Thanks
Do you mean there are stages or do you mean yes, people have to be honest with themselves and then they have to be transparent with the other person and then they can feel vulnerable. Is it a procedure in order to feel less vulnerable? Is it a theory you have discovered or you suggest to your clients, possibly, or is it something coming from somebody else? Would be interesting to know that. Yes, that's what I was basically saying
Dr. V Williams
@Ph.D.V · 4:05
You take the time to get to know them and build trust, that you trust them to be honest about who you are. And a lot of times we get caught up and forget that while we're building trust, we're still learning people, people, people, and we're still understanding them and where they are in their life based on where we are in our lives. And that understanding a lot of times gets cut short because of finding some sort of commonality
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:48
It rips her apart and she'll start feeling like she's not worth nothing. And all this kind of stuff rejection, abandonment, all that kind of stuff comes into play with her and feelings of not being loved. And she'll say stuff like, well, I'm not a part of this. And I'm just like, girl, every time you do something, nobody has to do these big great appreciation for you. If somebody say thank you, that should be enough
I only knew one way, so that choice is big. It's big for me. But I do still give flowers, but I get them because I want to. And there's no stipulation of what you do with them after you get the flowers. If you put them on the table when they die, then guess what? That split second, I did what I was supposed to do or what I wanted to do. God forbid you had a busy day
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:24
And I believe that you're going to find somebody who you may buy her flowers for no reason and when you get to the house to give her the flowers she didn't bought whatever you Mike for no reason. And I believe you're going to find somebody like that. God's going to send you a woman who will really appreciate you and all that you are and all that you do