Feeling Cute; Might Delete Later!
I was at her class every day on time, 20 years old, sitting amongst the sea of fellow women. But I was the only one with makeup on and my hair blown dry. I think this is why she decided to zero in on me. I don't know. She looked down at me as I was sitting at my desk and she said, so you think you're going to have it all, don't you?
When I look for a therapist, I don't want to see their resume. I don't want to see where they went to school. I don't care about those things. I want to know what their demons are and how they wrestle with them, or do they wrestle? What's their fighting approach? I want to know if they've ever stood on a mountaintop and had a Coming to Jesus, because I know I have
Why do I feel I need to abide by that or live by it or attempt to fulfill the ideas around whatever that perfected role or image looks like? And the thing is that no matter how hard I tried, I could never reach perfection, of course, right? And I was miserable. And whatever I thought I was going to gain out of it, I wasn't getting. So then I tried to instead focus on what it was that I did value
Yeah, our culture kind of breeds perfectionism anyway just in of itself. And then if you grow up in a family that you really don't get the message, whether overtly or covertly that you're not accepted for who you are. Like you have to be achieving something, doing something, being something thing in order to get attention, then you can easily get into that perfectionistic pattern
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:30
Renee, thank you so much for this. I can relate to everything you're saying. I remember in my 20s, guys used to tell me all the time, you know, girls like you get married, you know, you always end up married. And, you know, that was in my twenty s. Now fast forward to age 45 and I'm still single. And it's like, what happened to girls like me getting married?
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
I see women all around me doing their thing. They're not married, they don't have kids. They're traveling, they're into their hobbies, they're into their careers. But there's very few of them that I see that don't take on that societal guilt that we put on women to feel like in order for them to be happy, they have to have children and a husband. And it's just not true