Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:09
Pause Before You React? HOW DO YOU DO THAT!!?? - So... you're supposed to be able to pause and think before you react apparently. Teach me great ones!
Hello, and welcome to Uncensored with Renee Slay. Let me apologize ahead of time if you hear cars racing in the background. My 19 year old son has friends over, and they have decided that from the living room, they need the sound effects of the game they're playing to be incredibly high. What I want to talk about today is what's expect it of us, this thing. I work with a bunch of psychologists, right?
DAYDAY Mcclenton
@KINGPOPOFLA · 4:55
And some of the things, now that I look back at, it really wasn't even f****** worth it. But I was young. I understand. But I wanted to be an author, and I have accomplished that in a way. I wouldn't trade it for nothing. So with that being said, ma'am, it's all about self. And if you don't mind me saying, if you do want to keep your job, ask self, is it serious?
Sometimes there's yelling, but it's an unfiltered response which can be hurtful. Not intentionally, because it's more of my nervous system has reached peak fight or flight. And this is me attempting to, I don't even know, lashing out. And then there are times when I'm more regulated, maybe more I've done more self care, and then I feel more grounded, whatever that means, or centered, or finding a space of safety and confidence and self love with self
Amy Pendle
@Blind_Profit · 4:49
You. Hello. Miss Renee Slate. So, yeah, this is a very layered, complex thing you've got going on and hitting each of the surface points really quickly with you. Because complex PTSD, especially when it comes from a home environment situation, domestic in a really that trigger space where we're supposed to pause, is usually the only point in time where we were able to get out all of the energy that we had been stuffing down
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:37
Maybe it's that I'm absorbing some of theirs, I don't know. But I have a pretty immediate response, I guess, when I'm triggered. So it does fall back to the triggering thing, but it's finding that spot in between. Because what psychologists will tell you is there is a space. And it's a space you're talking about where you ask yourself, you ask self, is it worth it?
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:39
Long term traumas. Right. Because I grew up, we all know, in a really f***** up situation, having to constantly be alert and aware that at any moment a situation could go from everything's fine to just a nightmare. And then in adulthood, unfortunately, choosing a path and partners that were a lot like what I came from, even though I sad, I never would kept me in that constant state of adrenaline
The difficulty now makes a lot of sense, right? Because those were formative years and it's like priming the brain that this is what to expect and it normalizes that heightened hyper vigilance and must protect sort of state of mind. And then that's like elevated sorry, cat Toy at least he's not making loud noises that that elevates, you know, cortisol and adrenaline and and then it's almost like that becomes the expectation of normal
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:21
But tapping solution that I could try, that I could try. And more therapy, lord knows I need it. But thank you. Like for real, for real, for real. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, because, man, this is hard to live with. I guess it's hard to deal with, but I'm going to get through it and I'm still going to be an awesome person and put lots of love and light into the world. Thank you, sister
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 1:43
I know that I am fully expected to be wearing hearing AIDS in both ears because of Meniere's disease when I get older, older than I am now, whatever. But I think I might enjoy some of that. Look, if I'm going to put a positive spin on thing that's going to be one of them is that you can turn them down. And when I need to, I definitely will. Definitely will. And that includes when I am around certain people
Amy Pendle
@Blind_Profit · 4:32
So there's a lot of the transitioning part is having a benchmark and looking back to, okay, this is how I used to respond, and this is how I'm responding now, and wow, the practices that I have been doing are actually helping me and they reinforce that positiveness within ourselves that we are coping well and the world is changing around us and we are changing with it
And for that matter, what if we could mute some and turn others up? But anyway, you have definitely caught me right there on the verge. I usually refrain from saying f*** on somebody else's space until I know whether it's acceptable or okay because I know for some they really don't like any sort of cuss words. For some, it's tied into their faith and like, I'll cuss on my own swells or in my own spaces
Amy Pendle
@Blind_Profit · 3:28
And so right now your normal seems to be in the low end of what's healthy for your mental state and what society says is positive reaction versus negative reaction. Your normal sits below what would be considered normal. And this happens. A lot of people have this. So when you're in a resting state, you're waiting for something to happen because your brain is always in that state
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 0:29
Oops, oops. Because I've probably done that more often than not. I view it as a means of expression. Right. It's like an exclamation point to me. But you know that I've got a potty mouth, I'm sure, from our other interactions, so girl, anytime. This is uncensored. Uncensored. You just said it. It was freaking lovely. I just wanted to throw that out there. Thank you
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:12
Yeah, you're definitely very informative, and it's helping me a lot, and I just want you to know that. So if you can think of anything as far as, like, how I incite that feeling, then I would love to hear it. Thank you
Amy Pendle
@Blind_Profit · 5:00
So peace has a walk in the park and peace has people just not f****** talking to you right now. So peace has a lot of things in our mind and what it looks like and then there's global world peace and all these other things. So really I think it's how do you want to define peace?
Amy Pendle
@Blind_Profit · 0:44
Oh, and two based on the other conversation you were having with this one neurodivergent spectrum. The way that people deal with autism, I guess, is what it is. But the fidget toys and things like that. But if you look into neurodivergent processing, you might find some new, updated understandings of how the brain works that are more in line with your understanding of yourself. Yeah. Thank you
Theo Seibold
@Thatoneweirdo · 4:57
And I think that type of communication in those situations, you just can't help but like a bar or like a family gathering where people just are going at it. Yeah. It's just going to bleed out. And I did enjoy the car sound effects in the back. My father was a huge NASCAR fan. And I mean, of course they're going to listen to the racing games at full volume. That creates the experience
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:37
The obsidian and termline I have, I don't carry it every day, but I need to get smaller ones so I can. I also carry or I have amethyst on a necklace that I wear a lot just for the calming capability and my clear quartz, of course, and citrine, so I have all those. I have my singing bowl, which is great for when I'm at home
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:35
But if it's something that needs to be addressed, there's different levels of addressing things, and maybe I need a moment to think about that, too, because it's not an explosive blow up situation all the time, right? It has been, but not all the time. But, like, at work when someone's shifting blame to me, when I know it wasn't me or disrespecting me in the way that, okay, I work for a special needs school
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 5:00
But I notice I tend to show up with more boldness here in my corporate role, saying what's on my mind, calling a thing a thing when it doesn't make sense or the process isn't clear or I know someone is pushing an edict from a space of ego or fear or knowledge deficit. And so I'm really proud of myself for that. Now, mind you, it doesn't make me the most popular person here
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:21
So it's hard for me to relax, for me to catch that breath, for me to not be on the alert because the trauma went on for so long and safety is hard for me to find. I don't trust anyone. I can literally sit here and tell you that there is not one person that I trust completely. And my circle is beyond small because with the complex coming from childhood, I no longer associate with my family
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 4:31
There's a number of exercises and techniques that you learn, and like anything in life, I believe it works. If you work it, you get the information, you apply it, and you get out of it, which you put in. What you put in is what you get out. However, the same goes. Anyway, I appreciate it, but I don't use any of it
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 1:40
You're. Thank you so much for taking the time to hop in on this conversation and thank you for everything that you had to say. Because at the end you said, I hope that or that you hope that I'm able to take something away from it. I absolutely am. Because there's things that are so much bigger to be upset about, right. And there's so much to be not okay with that I'm so aware of
Yeah. When it comes to when it comes to people that I just talk smack, just say horrible things to you and whatnot. So with my job as a security officer, I deal with this on a normal basis. So, like, what I placed in here for the title, here for the response, it's a symptom of weakness, which it is. I've noticed this. So coming up in the next four days will make it two years in the psych medical field
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 0:55
It. I agree with you, agree with you, agree with you 150%. It is weak minded people that need to put somebody else down to build themselves up. Ridiculous. And their bark is always much stronger than a non existent bite. And I've noticed as well that when I have bit back at them, so to speak, that I'm no longer the female that they are trying to test