I love all of you poets here and I would really love to have your feedback on this. But as of yet, this piece is right now untitled. Sensuality or the Mentor of my dreams deeply in the darkness mesmerizing all my soul within me sacrificing eagerly I searched for my melancholy but my sadness I could not awaken. What could there be more purely unshaken? And so you kissed me gently gasping and breathless I threw my admiration on the floor
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:49
Okay, this is if I'm interpreting right, which which everybody, I'm sure, is gonna have their own interpretation. But I love this. I listen to it like repeatedly and it just becomes more and more revealing. Or at least to me it does. And it may just like I said, be perception. Perception is everything, right? I'm okay. This is what I'm getting from it. It's almost like becoming numb. Becoming numb of feeling sadness and loss
Laura L (she/her)
@Loloflow · 3:22
So maybe there's something about that because you ended it with Heaven's eyes. And that last line I'm curious about, I want to know more about, I kind of took it to mean that Heaven gave us a gift and took away our pain for us and is holding the regret for us, and now we don't have it anymore. Or it could be the opposite. I don't know. I would love to hear more about it from you. Um beautiful work, as always
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 3:44
It's. Hello, Pixie. This is really good. I like this. I actually sent a reply to Renee Slay a little while ago, or rather earlier today, about a poem that she did. And your poem reminds me of that. Not the contents of it, but but the style, which is one of the type of styles of poetry that I really like. And what do I mean by that is that the words are not straightforward and direct. It's classic poetry
And so whenever I write the same as when I speak, I tend to emote in a very lengthy way. But I have been really enamored of some of the shorter poetry that I have found here. So I sat down and I said, let me try my hand at just throwing something down that is not lengthy, but just a series of thoughts that just come into my mind. Just think, let the thoughts come in and then just put them down on paper
Anisah Khan
@Anisah_Writes · 4:43
It's. Okay, so you definitely got my brain thinking because I've recently late for my class. I've been workshopping a lot of poems and it got me thinking about the narrator. It got me like the subject who's speaking, the style and everything. And from your poem, I mean, from what everybody's been saying, they've been talking about numbness. Right?
There is a sentiment in this piece of always being sad and melancholy and now trying to be that again because it's what I'm used to and not being able to be that anymore. So the numbness in that sense would come in as a forced numbness against my negative thoughts and feelings about self
And it's not directly in this piece speaking to my being by or being with a woman, but it is indirectly, though, because this piece is speaking to me, uncovering parts of self that I have afore been shamed by or afraid of or didn't want to let go because I was afraid of the judgment. And one of those themes is my bisexuality and my love of women and being with women in a sexual, sensual, loving way
I truly appreciate you for being here and just want to thank you for your input and your kind reply and for you taking the time to listen and to really think about what I was saying and what I was emoting. That is so special to me. It is more special than you could possibly imagine being able to have these types of interactions here on Swell. So thank you so much for your contribution. It is so appreciated, and I'm so glad that you are here
Your reply is so interesting. I am really, really intrigued with it because there is an element of what you are saying in this piece you talk about that you feel that the narrator is speaking to, wanting something that they can't have and not being appreciative of what is right there in front of them. That is definitely a part of this narrative. Am definitely speaking to something I am grasping for, that I cannot have, that is out of my reach, but that I don't need
I was reaching backwards for the sadness because I've always defined myself by my sadness and my sorrow and my loneliness. And now that I am awake and I am feeling all these new scenes, that confusion of not recognizing myself because I'm so new, it causes you to want to reach backwards to those themes that you are used to. But I cannot awaken my sadness because it's time for the sadness to sleep. The next line. What could there be more purely unshaken?
So that is the summation of all of that piece and everything that I was talking about and emoting and expressing from my heart and soul. And once again, this has been such a wonderful, wonderful creative circle that we've had on this thread. And I'm so, so glad to be a part of Swell and to be able able to talk to all of you and express to all of you and have you express back to me. So thank you, everybody, once again
The lines that really stood out to me that I really felt a connection to is when you mentioned that I was love, hopefulness and your life empathy, heaven looked down upon us both with sympathy. I thought that was beautiful. That was so moving. This piece is very deep, and it also have a lot of depth into it as well
Natasha Webb
@NatashaNoel · 3:47
Each thing I listen to, as I've said, every time I want to go, wow, it just blows me away. And even though this was a shorter poem, it impacted me greatly because it was a story within a story. It just really told a lot. And that's what your poems are. They're stories. They're beautiful stories. Anyway, I hope you have a great evening