I'm not going to lie to you. I had a very high tolerance and really did enjoy having a good time. Really did. I really thought I was doing finally something with my life, which was experiencing joy through ingesting chemicals, whatever. There was MDMA, ecstasy, and it really did feel like life was great. I really got trapped in that illusion of like, okay, I feel good now. I found that feeling. But why does my reality not work now?