Who is your go to person?
But when my cup gets filled, when I need a renewing, when I need just to cry and to roll around and vent and act like a baby, I normally go to my creator. I go to God. And time and time again, it's the same source that I'm getting filled up by. But there are times when I want a person, I want to be able to speak with a person to get their perspective. Now, let's just be honest
You have to speak to someone, you have to listen to them. You have to actually decipher information and knowledge. And I think that makes the Internet and social media a really good tool for someone who finds that in regular spaces they can't communicate with people. So for me, I now have found that I actually do kind of have a circle of people that I can have pour into me and I can actually go to
And that's why I say I can't completely say I have to the complete extent that I want the type of interactions with friendship and to be able to be poured into because I still have a lot of healing to do from the trauma of before and also because I have met these people through social media and being online. None of them are in my area or where I live
Pixie. I love your responses because every time you delve into something, it just brings something else up in me. It's like a mirror of the things that you're saying about the Internet is so true. I personally have because the way I was raised, being a military brat, me being part of groups can be difficult for me because my personality is as an observer. I'm not really doing too much talking. And when I do insert myself, I'm very transparent
But what I was actually referring to with what I just posted was getting into the space of fully trusting in that and fully being able to in a mental head space, be able to wrap yourself around the idea that now you do have people. It is a process because trauma depending on what type of trauma it is and I've been through absolutely crazy, frightening, horrific traumas in my life, including domestic violence where I was being beaten and abused by my husband physically, mentally and emotionally
That that's one of the reasons why I mentioned that I feel like the Internet and social media is a beautiful tool, because I feel like it does bring me personalities and people and kindreds that I would normally have not actually run into or met, even if I was seeing people in real life in person. I feel like because of the way you communicate online, it makes connection actually much deeper when the connection is actually real
It's okay to be like, no, I don't want to be involved with this this situation, or I don't want to be involved with this person because they're not serving me, and they're not actually a friend, and they're not someone that is actually good for me. So I'm going through a lot of processes of learning and understanding myself and understanding the world around me and just coming into a different space
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:09
When I want to talk about love and all of the possibilities they're in, I have people I can call about that. It's not just the same person. And so that's my answer. I first go to myself and then, depending on what the subject is, I have a host of different people that I am comfortable speaking with about different topics because I know it's going to be from a non judgmental space
I want a man that only has eyes for me, a man that fonds over me, a man that takes care of me, that provides for me, but that allows me to be who I am and I can allow him to be who he is. That interdependent relationship with male female arena and obviously haven't found that inquiring minds want to know. Do you believe that men and women can in that male female, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband relationship?
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:45
Hey. Yes. To clarify, I was speaking of all type of relationships that people can love more than one person. And this is why in friend circles you tend to have more than one type of friend. Sometimes there's funny TikTok videos where it says, oh, you know, this is the friend that's going to respond this way and this is the friend that's going to respond that way
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:46
So it's not to be confused with promiscuity or a lascivious lifestyle, which I think that's what people hear when they hear polyamory is like, oh, my gosh, this person is in a relationship with this person, but they see something, they like, they go for that. And they have, like, 15 sex partners in a week or 100 sex partners in a year. And that's far, far from the truth. We are charging people air quotation
I enjoy having that energy feed back into me and feed that into someone else. But I realize now that my happiness level or joy level is much more profound when I am free. I love my level of freedom and I like the idea that I'm not stuck where I am in like a prison situation or a box or where a relationship ties me. And so I've been reevaluating how I really feel about things like marriage
I don't want to do what people typically talk about having open relationships. I don't really want to do that because that's a whole different thing that is, I feel like, more sexually oriented as far as you're open to be able to have sex with other people. That's not what I'm looking for. I'm not necessarily looking to have multiple lovers. What I'm looking for is to have multiple soulmates and to not have my actual lover be upset by that
Khadijah H
@Mindsetmatters2 · 4:51
Who is your go to person. I am so thankful that you invited me to this. I know it's been a day or two, but I'm getting back, and I'm here now. And I did want to share who the ultimate goto is for me. And the ultimate goto for me is God, because humans are flawed. And I know that he ultimately can give me what I need, the strength, faith, the hope to pull myself up
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:39
That being with you, having love with you means that I can't do an activity because you don't like it. And you don't deem it appropriate for me to do as a husband and a father? What versus you being the person to say, these are concerns I have and I support you. Go be great. And I was like, wow, I definitely don't want traditional union in addition to that
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:28
In addition to that, I also don't see myself having a deep human connection with a person or people and living with that person. Another concept I am leaning towards is being together apart or married while living separately is another concept that I am leaning towards but from a stance of I can me and this person have a relationship?