Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:54
Yesterday, i realized one of my best friends is not one of my best friends
She don't want to hurt my feelings. But then I realized, you know what? Lifestyle wise, you and I are in two different places, and so we don't need to do that stuff together at the same time. What about the other stuff we used to do together that was enjoyable for both of us? You've stopped doing that kind of stuff, and you've now just have parties and gatherings, and that's your life
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:04
But we have always kept in touch, obviously, as we got older, got busy, and we started seeing each other, honestly, maybe twice a year. We both got saved around the same time. Totally different churches. So that's probably one of the reasons why we still have a friendship to this day. But we do live different lifestyles where she's never been married, she doesn't have any children. So much like on another post that I was responding to today
That's just the way life is. But I understand that you were hurt by what happened. I would have been hurt as well. But you will get over it, and you will be okay, because you're going in a different direction, in my view. You're going in a much better, much superior direction than she is, it sounds like
Maurice Lekea
@malekea · 4:58
Because you still have your 75% of yourself in you. And when people walk away from you, do not follow. Stay where you are. You may be disappointed, feel all kind of feelings. I don't know what kind of feelings you feel, but don't follow. And do not ask why they left you. Because sometimes when people walk away, they are expecting you to say something. And then they will react
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:39
If somebody can go and tell people my business, that's not my friend. If somebody can, if you're having something for your friends and you don't invite me, then clearly I'm not a friend. And so a lot of people say, oh, this is my friend so and so. When did y'all meet? Oh, two weeks ago. Well, yeah, that's not your friend, that's your acquaintance, right? Because that person really doesn't even know you
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:39
God has given me a great capacity to love people. I'm one of those people. I love you until you hurt me. I'm not one of those folks. That okay, you got to earn my love. I'm one of those people. I love you until you hurt me. But even then, I still love you. It's just I have to love you differently. Like, way differently
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:33
Because we are in our 40s now, so maybe we've aged out of the BFF range and we need to move into the dearest friend, oldest friend, longtime friend, that type of thing. But yeah, I know friendships change. I know we go through different seasons in life, and sometimes the people you're closest to a little distance will be created because of whatever direction life has taken you. And then I also realized that you change as people
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 0:39
You'll go through it more than twice, and it hurts each time a little bit different. But it's going to happen. And you're right. I'll get past it. I'll move on and navigate a little different normal than what I'm accustomed to. So thank you so much for your input. It was greatly appreciated
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:40
And it is important to make sure that you stay grounded in who you are, stay grounded in what you desire in friendships and what you desire in relationships and not get caught up in even the whole label of best friend. Like it's a status symbol or type thing. And I think sometimes we get caught up in that
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:23
I don't think it was any, like, large scale party type event since she's been divorced. I think she just kind of keeps her gatherings small and intimate versus the big parties that her and her husband would have. But still, it's like, okay, I can see clearly that I'm not part of your inner circle anymore. And the last time that her and I had gotten together before was before the Pandemic, because her birthday fell right before the pandemic
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 2:33
It's unfortunate because, yeah, sometimes when you no longer are in a certain place in your life, it kind of exposes the friendship, I guess. And, yeah, this happens a lot. It's like, okay, I don't do those things anymore. And because of that, the person is not really trying to chill like that. But as you mentioned, it's not like that was the only thing you were it's not like those were the only things you were doing
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 2:40
It's just that she's respecting those boundaries that you put up. She's respecting the fact that you have changed and you no longer indulge in those activities that she does. So on the 4 July, she wanted to have her drinks. She wanted to have her music or whatever. She didn't want to have to make you uncomfortable. She didn't want you uncomfortable around it. She didn't want to have to explain to other people that you're uncomfortable and you're leaving to go home