And so who wants to constantly hear messages that don't empower, that don't build them up, that don't affirm who they are in God and who God created them to be, and yet hear messages where the other gender is being lifted up on this pedestal for really no reason at all?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:54
But if we're looking for that as a sign that someone is close to God, tears are not a good sign of whether somebody has a close relationship with the Lord or not. But yes, men emote differently. Men are logical, so they're not going to make emotional decisions and impulsive decisions like women often do. Men are going to think about it. They're going to collect the information
Britton Hibbitt
@BTheHibbs · 5:00
So, you know, to face the reality of today, a man has to understand his role and the woman has to understand her role. And once we do that, we have an understanding and a true relationship. And the church is the tangible reference of that doesn't get blurred. There's no way to overstep it. But men, the problem is that men use the excuse of everything that you just said, because all of it is excuses
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:36
And so, as you said, men being that tangible reference of God in his image, without growing up with that in the household, then men don't really get an opportunity to see the role of masculinity in the family, in God's perfect design of the family. They don't get to see the role of masculinity in the family
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 2:55
In fact, the former church that I belong to, I joined there when I was like 1920, and I left when I was like about 32. The founding pastor, she passed on now, but the founding pastor's birthday is February 3, I believe. And so every year they would do a pastor celebration, which I'm so glad we don't do that at my church, but we would do that for her birthday now, February 3, if that rings a bell
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:01
But when he goes live with somebody's services, I just feel like if you all don't sit down and stop shaking your hips like a grandma, but they really believe that's how you have church. But that's how women have church. And so many men are turned off by that. They say you don't take all that. And I agree with them. The emotionalism is what we think is church
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:59
And that is the problem. Now, when you said that most men are not emotional like that and they don't express their emotions like that, I didn't even think about it that way. But you're right, that would be a turn off to men because men don't do that. In my experience, when men have a real encounter with God, they don't know how to deal with it because some of them will cry, you know what I mean?
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:24
And so if they don't see it, then they don't know. You know what I mean? And if all they see is the women up, then how do they know? And I think that's what we really are doing people a disservice when we focus on the emotionalism versus spiritual, help them bring a change in their lives. I agree with the pastor that we do need more men, but if the men don't want to come, how do you get more men? Right?
Glenn Mann
@GlennPriceMann · 3:08
Hey, this is a great topic, and I think you hit the nail on the head when you talk about the reasons why so many men don't go to church or don't go in the same numbers as women about their emotional needs not being met, perhaps the perception of the church being too female focused. And I also think there's some other things in play
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:53
These pastors that love these women staying single. They're not interested in marrying these women off because they know these women are going to have to answer to someone else other than the pastor. And so the pastor kind of acts as everybody's pseudo husband in some instances
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:18
Hey, sis, thank you so much for your response. I love how you mentioned how your pastor reached out to the men and invited them to the church function. I thought that was great. I know that means a lot to men to have another man invite them to something. Because like you said, men want to see other men. And yes, think with the whole conversations around emotional intelligence and emotional availability and men being largely accused of lacking both
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:36
And then they have these huge dramatic sets and backdrops because they want to get your attention. Everything is colorful, everything is theatrical, even the style of music that they introduce in worship. They want to bring in secular music and all of that. I'm starting to see that more and more where gospel artists and other worship leaders and churches are bringing in secular music because they claim they're trying to draw folks in. And all of that. I mean, what happened to the gospel?
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:25
The only thing, and I'll go visit. I'll be in Dallas again in April or early May, so I do plan to visit. Not used to an all black church I was back in the day, but our church is definitely very not just racially, but ethnically mixed. Like, we have a huge population of african parishioners, mostly nigerian, but Ghana, other parts of the South Africa. So I'm used to a racial mix and ethnic mix
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:36
Like, I know some people in ministry out there that I think that you would. Um. Well, you know, Pastor Tony Evans is out there, but his church is predominantly black, too. His leadership is black, all that stuff. So he ain't really got a lot of white folk out there. But I do know some other people out there that I think you would enjoy as well, or at least enjoy taking a look at. So thank you so much
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:11
If we're there for five, six years until he goes off to college and it's for him and his foundation, I'll rock with it. I'll rock with it. As long as I can find some women to fellowship with and be friends with, I'll do that for him. Because that's pretty much what I do with anything. The houses I'm looking for are going to be houses in an Airbnb where he can go to a good school