Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:24
Woman goes against her norm and dates a man with kids. Then it gets weird….
Do you want to see how he interacts with his kids? Do you want to see if he really has kids. I mean, like, what is the deal with you wanting to meet these children? She didn't say how many they were or how old they were, but I don't believe you should meet anybody's kids if you are not planning to be in that person's life long term
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 2:09
Hey, Tanya. Of course, you know, I don't have children, but I think what bothers me the most about this is that she's only known the guy for four weeks. The second thing that bothers me is that she didn't stick to her original plan of not dating a guy with children. Sometimes as men and women, we tend to toe the line and cross the lines that we've drawn in the sand. And then when we get hurt, who can we blame?
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:37
Like, if I'm going on a date, that's my time, right? When I was working with my relationship coaches, I would go. My Saturday nights was my date night, whether I had a date or not. And if it meant going by myself, if it meant going with girlfriends, if I did have a date, fine. But Saturday nights were booked in reserve. That's me time. And so I was not trying to bring my kid on every date
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 0:30
Tanya. That man was right not to let her meet the children. She didn't want to meet the children because she even wants to meet the children. She wanted to meet the children because the children were standing in between her and this man. She can use the children to manipulate him and get him closer to her so she can have her own children. Smart guy. Great story
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:55
Hey, Erica, thank you so much for your response. You know, I agree. I don't know why. I mean, I get it. You meet a guy who's attractive. And yes, I'm sure all of us at some point in time have dated people that were not our quote unquote type. You know, we may not have been attracted to men with children, but there was something about this guy
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:21
It's not that important to me. So I agree with you. You want time to, to do adult things with other adults without having to make sure there's something for your children to do, something for them to eat, something that they will enjoy. You want that? I think every parent would want that at some point in time. So thank you so much for this
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 0:57
So whether he's with the child's mother or not, she comes with the kids. So when you're dealing with a man with children, you're dealing with the mother or mothers of his children as well. And so all of that can stand in the way. But I think she should have just stuck with her original preference of dating men with no children, and then she can avoid what she walked herself into with this particular situation. Just stick to what you prefer
Cheyonia Wade
@Chey · 2:42
But I, like you said, I definitely think that you should wait for the other person when they're comfortable with you. And then they could say, okay, I think you're okay enough to be around. And who knows? There could have been some issues that, you know, he just was trying to start a relationship and not have all the extra that is included. His children's mother may not be accepting of a new woman in his life
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:36
Hey, Shay, thank you so much for your response. Yes. I would never initiate wanting to meet someone's children. I'm not the parent. That's not my call to make. That's not my decision to make. And so if that man feels comfortable bringing his children around me, he wants me to meet his kids. He wants his kids to meet me or whatever, because he feels like this is something long term, then I'm open to that
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 2:18
Okay, Tanya, MJ here to be straight and upfront about everything. I have not even dated for duh, duh, duh, 15 years. And a lot of that was because of the men I was dating. I didn't want them to be around my kids. But the particular story that you mentioned, this woman probably like a lot of people, the more she hears, no, the more interested she is. Right?
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 0:56
And I was like, oh, she should have talked about that some more, because when you said that, you know, they haven't been seen each other very long, and it was too soon for her to be introduced to his kids, and she might not even be the only one that he's dating, I started thinking, oh, my gosh, what's he supposed to do? You know, have a parade of women walking through his house, meeting his kids all the time?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:26
I don't care how handsome he is, I don't care how great the conversation is or how much I enjoy spending time with him. If I'm really that serious about not dating someone with kids, then I'm gonna hold fast to that. And like you said, as soon as she learned that he had children, that should have been the end of that entire relationship. It's not going to get better from there, so you might as well just go on and walk away