Hey, swellcast family. I hope you're having a wonderful Wednesday so far. So last week, I saw a video of a guy who was on a date, or so he thought. He went to meet a young woman for a date that they had set up together, and this young woman stood him up. She did not show. She was a no call, no show on this date. So this guy decided to make a video describing his situation
I mean, this is kind of me going back to sort of the old idea that men need to stay strong and I'm kind of saying that, but I'm kind of not saying that in the sense that don't reveal this version of yourself to the entire world. They don't know you, they don't know your background. I think you even mentioned that as well. The strangers don't need to see this side of you because what they'll see is nothing but weakness
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:56
Maybe she wasn't feeling him from the beginning, but she felt obligated to go on this date, but then at the last minute, her girlfriends talked her out of it and said, you ain't got to go on that date. And she just decides to stand him up. It's unfortunate. I agree with you 100% on the not broadcasting this online. I believe that some people do that because they just feel like they don't have anywhere else to turn
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
I'm assuming I'm making an assumption, but I'm assuming that this chick probably had given him some type of vibes, that she wasn't really filling him before this date, and he probably kept pursuing, and she probably was like, you know what? Okay, let's make the date
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 3:27
Like you said, she could have easily texted him and been like, hey, I'm sorry, this isn't going to work. Sorry for wasting your time. But to have him actually go out of his way and stand him up like that and not show up, that is not okay. And she's trifling. She is. Now, I also do understand the men's perspective on this as well, because I'm not big on everything being on social media. I don't like it
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:56
I know what it's like when you really want your person and you're tired of putting yourself out there at the same time, you know you have to put yourself out there. So you get tired of putting yourself out there, but you got to put yourself out there and at the same time, you get tired of starting over. You get tired of first dates. I know I get tired of first dates
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:46
They're not rushing to be his woman. They're not rushing to be by his side. No, they're probably not. But that's not even the point to me, us women feeling sorry for him, it's not about we feel bad because he's somebody that we would date. We just feel bad for him as a person showing compassion, like nobody wants to be stood up, nobody wants to be rejected
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:18
Two, there were a lot of men in the comments who some of them were like, listen, you want to get that woman or any other woman, step up your game. I had a couple of men saying, Stop crying. Get off the Internet. A couple of men saying, Hit the gym, right? Get your money up. You ain't never going to have to be stood up again. They were giving him that kind of advice, which I noticed
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:26
She didn't show up. So I could see, like, a twofold thing with it. I don't think it was all about just garnering sympathy. I think that he also wanted to send a message to women who claim all these negative things about men not wanting to be in relationships, not wanting to date, not wanting to do this or that. Hey, I'm not one of those dudes. I did my part, and she still didn't show up
Bernard Harmon
@iambernard · 2:17
I hope everything worked out for hope somebody to look them up and feel sorry for them. Want to go on a date. But me myself, personally, no, I would never do that
Maurice Lekea
@malekea · 5:00
But where I disagree with is that going online, it will be the very last place on earth for me to go to. Because once you put your life out to the public, to the world, there's no going back. Your life is out there. What that helps you to go put your complaint online, what we're expecting to get from the world, from people who are watching you or listening to you, I don't see the point. Your life should be gold diamond
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 2:49
It's on TikTok, it's on Facebook, it's on Instagram, and I believe it's even on Threads. And so I've read comments off of all of those. And I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think there's not a woman who was like, yeah, I'm going to DM him so we can go out. Most of the women were just like, sorry that you went through that. We know how that feel? That's not cool
Maurice Lekea
@malekea · 0:08
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:46
And I agree with that. I think all the men and women on this thread agree that going online, going to Facebook Live was not the move. It was not the move. But as I told some of the others, sometimes people don't feel like they have anyone else to turn to. And in that moment, he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:21
Maybe he didn't have someone keeping him accountable. Like, tell me me how your date goes and tell me what happens. And maybe he didn't have someone like that, or maybe he did, and he just felt like I believe that part of the reason
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:27
She could have said no early on in the conversation when she realized there's no chemistry here. No, I'm not interested, and I'm not interested. Or when he wanted to plan a date, she could have been like, no, I'm not really feeling going on a date. I'm not really trying to do all that. We can just be friends or something. I'm not really trying to do the dating thing
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:07
She may remain obscure forever. We may never know who she is. But yeah, we don't need to go on pity dates with people. That's not the objective here, to just do stuff because we feel bad for people. No, we can say, you know what? I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope it gets better. I hope you find your person, whomever that is, and that's that. How about that? Keeping it real, real simple
Maurice Lekea
@malekea · 0:41
You. Oh, my goodness. I love the term pity date or charity date. I didn't see it coming. I've been laughing the whole time and listening to all the comments from the brother. And you, Tanya. I hope this guy listened to all of these comments
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 4:53
First of all, I don't even know if this person exists, the woman that he's talking about. I'm not saying that she don't I want to make that clear. But when it comes to social media, it's very easy to draw people in. You could put something out there and you can come up with a sad story and people would reply, you can go viral just about doing anything. You can go viral picking up dog poop, I mean, anything
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 3:58
But, yeah, the most decent thing that his date, potential date could have done, in my opinion, she could have at least, I mean, text or call or something. Because given his side of the story, it appears that they made plans to have a date, to meet to meet up at that place, and she didn't show up at all. I would have at least been like, hey, I changed my mind, because she has the right to change her mind
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:40
So while that might seem far fetched, maybe five years ago, that might have sounded real, real crazy. Nowadays, it don't sound crazy at all. You have to be careful. Everybody that you're connected to online, it just may not be a real person. People steal profiles all the time and catfish people. People use bots and things like that to create profiles. So, yeah, it can happen. It can definitely happen
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:34
And as he goes out and dates more people, maybe he gets projected. Moe. Maybe there are things about you you want to work on. The way you speak, your style, how in shape you are. All these things that don't necessarily change you or make you have to say, well, I've lost myself as a person. But just in iterations, improve upon yourself so that a lot of the world is built on first impressions. And it sucks, but it's true