And really, it's because they don't want to face some of the things that are happening or have happened in their life that have shaped who they are and have affected some of their decisions, some of their relationship choices. So they welcome the distraction of dating, and they continue to chase that euphoric high of being in a new relationship over and over again. And they get stuck in a pattern of doing that. And in the process, they don't grow personally
Robert Jenkins
@Guruball1 · 4:54
Some people just want free stuff, so they look at dating as a chance to get a free meal or a free show or whatever, and then that's it. And then some, like you said, are looking for the long term. But what I've learned through dating for decades is that you never really meet the real person when you're dating. You meet their representative. You meet the person that they're putting out front and showing you, oh, look, I'm so understanding
Guadalupe Ospina
@GOD1forever · 3:07
It's hard to bring those questions to make the person that you're dating aware and to let them know, like, this is what's up. And once you do it, sometimes if they are not there, they just like, okay, no, they run away. They get scared. Once you put some things on the table and you make it clear that this is what you're looking for and you're not accepting any less, they run away, they get scared
She said, the human psyche cannot keep up a facade for longer than two years. So it's usually around the 18th month of dating or two years that you start to see who the person is. Some people, what you see is what you get, right? But just like you said, brother, let them continue on you. Be who you are. Then I'm going to see if you have the ability, the capacity
Robert Jenkins
@Guruball1 · 4:56
I'm going to keep my eyes open and know that I'm in it for the long haul. Because I'm a grown man. I've partied. I've done everything I need to do in my life on that end of the spectrum. Now it's time for me to be married, settle down, have a nice wife, someone that I know is my partner, and I could live the rest of my life happy with them
I'm just on casual dating, blah, blah, blah, those women go, okay. And that's not what they really want. And they seem to think still that if I continue to see him, my personality, my spirit, my sexuality, my cooking, whatever, is going to make him see that I'm wife material, wrong
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 1:13
It. Wow, that's so sad. I'm very familiar with who she is. I was studying at one time to become an HIV AIDS educator. I may have mentioned that before as well. And that's how I learned about her. And I bought her book quite a few years ago. And she's a book with her. And her adopted mom on a cover is called you get past the tears. And I do remember her on Oprah
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:31
And some folks just don't want to be left alone to face what people call them their demons, but they don't want to be left alone to face the reality of certain aspects of their life, and so why not keep dating? I don't have time to think about me. I got to think about this relationship. I got to think about you. I feel loved. I need to feel loved by people because I don't feel loved. I feel worthless in and of itself
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:46
And so a lot of women have relationship desires that they want to share with men, but they're so afraid that a man is going to be turned off, he's going to run away, he's going to cut contact. So then they take on the whole, I'm just going to go with the flow. We just going to go with the flow. We just go see where it goes. But then you're left always wondering, where is it going?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:24
But if all of this is scaring you or turning you off, then, well, now, you know, now you can move on from here. But yes, everybody does bring their representative. Even in these online spaces, people are presenting the part of theirselves that they want you to see, that they don't mind you seeing. But then the more unpleasant, unsavory parts of yourself, you don't get to see