Tyler Perry mentioned that in a relationship, if the woman is the higher earning person in the relationship, then she needs to allow her man to be able to do what he's able to do financially and for her to do more. If she's able to do more, meaning if she's the higher earner and she can afford to pay the mortgage, then she needs to pay the mortgage and let him go ahead and pay the light bill
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 1:56
They just say, here's the money, and this is what we're going to do with it together. So it would be interesting to know what other people have to say in regards to this, because I don't know, it just seems like a mindset that really needs to be broken, and soon it
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00
Matter of fact, when snoop dogg played in baby boy and he tried to impose himself sexually on his girlfriend, the one that was played by I forgot her name, taraji p. Henson, he tried to rape her and was, oh, snoop is crazy, girl. Did you see snoop needs to stop. Or when Donald trump made the comment about groping women before being president, and he still turned around and became president. And you know what women say? Oh, that's just Donald being Donald
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
My husband actually worked for me, worked for my company, so I made more money than them. Did I hold it over their head, though? No, I didn't. And did we just pay bills? Yeah, we did. I do think as it comes to relationship, especially like dating and getting into relationships, that's something that definitely needs to be discussed
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:54
And then before you know it, everybody's driving nice know? And I'm talking like Land Rover's, Audi things, mercedes things of that nature. And then not only are they doing that, but then also they're buying their home because everybody is saving. And so as you get enough, okay, we saving up. Everybody's saving up enough money for this person to get down payment, okay? We got that person down payment
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:49
He sees a whole bunch of lonely women wishing they had a man, but are turning down good brothers because he makes less than them. And the reality is it's not enough six figure brothers to go around point blank, period. And if we're looking for someone to come and take over our bills that we created, but we want him to take it over, well, you created the bill. I don't know. In short, I agree with him
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 4:52
You have households where the man is the accountant and the woman is a daycare worker or janitor or something. But it's the money that's coming into the household so that they can live. And in that relationship, they've established what bills are going to be paid together and by whom. And we don't need to judge that whether it's a man or a woman, we don't need to judge that
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:47
And so we got black women out here believing that the way to avoid that is to just continue to go to college, continue to get degrees, continue to increase income, but then get upset when they don't meet a man that earns the same amount of money. The realistic part of this is only 1% of men earn six figures. That's a very small percentage. So that means that the vast majority, the overwhelming majority of men earn average salaries
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 1:35
Of course, if the person has, like, criminal background and all that other stuff, you don't want to let them in your home. But anyway, we just have a very bad scarcity mindset, and it seeps into our relationships, and we do need to do something about that fast. So thank you
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:52
It ain't no way if you take my student loan debt away, ain't no way I'm going to go back to school and get another degree. I am done. I've gotten all the education I need. So therefore, unless somebody's paying for it, I ain't going back to school. But that's the mindset a lot of black women have now, unfortunately. Thank you so much for your response
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:57
Why would we complain about being in a relationship with a man who we're paying half the bills with? We're already paying 100% of the bills. But it's this scarcity mindset that has been passed on to our community where we are trained to believe that any moment the bottom can fall out, and you will be left with nothing. So you need to prepare yourself
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 4:34
But yeah, at the same time, I agree with everything that everyone is saying on here. It's so dangerous to operate from the scarcity mindset because it's literally ripping us apart. Yes, it's okay to have a nest egg just in case anything happens, medically or otherwise, but you don't want to jump into a marriage thinking that I'm so glad that I didn't get married with that type of mindset. That will be very stressful to deal with daily
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:37
Children who also went on to get married and be in stable relationships and stuff like that. So I think we have to stop perpetuating this idea that all of our grandparents were in these terrible marriages where they were just suffering and being abused and that's why we have to do what we do today. I don't think that's the idea. And I think too, because I've heard the advice that have come from some black women that are divorced or that just never have had success in relationships
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:58
Now, I'm not saying that Tyler Perry is a reputable voice in this, but his life, I mean, he lives a quiet life of just continuing to be successful, minding his own business. He values family. We see it all throughout his movies. He values family. He values the black family. And so what he's saying is, ladies, like you said, complaining about being lonely. You tired of being by yourself. You tired of not meeting any good guys
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
You get into a bad mindset. So there's a lot of different mindsets that are at play in this. And I'm not saying that everybody because I know some people right now. I know my mentor. She has been married for
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:38
My father was married to my mother for 35 years until she died. My father was married to my stepmother for 15 years until my father passed away. You know what I mean? I know a lot of couples who have been married for years and didn't have no outside children. So I'm not saying that everybody had that. I'm not saying I know people families who the grandparents were married for years and never had outside kids
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 2:05
Sierra made a comment, and I think that she was giving credence for something that was said when it comes to single women. And she was in support of something that was said. And black women had an issue, I think all women, but more so, black women had an issue with that because it's like, how dare you? You got your man. You don't just got a man, you got a good one
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:57
We focus on negative, negative, negative, all the things that can go wrong in a marriage, and you need to be prepared. But what about the things that could go right? What about the thing that could bring joy, unspeakable joy to my life in marriage? And and I get it. Some people are just not in happy marriages and so they don't have nothing good to say about their marriage because they're just not happy
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:47
And with that being said, we have a lot of young women who have never seen a wife, and so they don't know how a wife is supposed to live or how a wife is supposed to function in a marriage, because we didn't grow up seeing not we, but they didn't grow up seeing a wife. They had a mother who was single. She may have had some boyfriends, but they've not seen their mother as a wife
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 5:00
I've seen where a woman has made more money than a man and threw it up in his face that she made more money than him. It wasn't right. I didn't feel like it was right. I mean, it's like he's contributing some way. So just because you could pay the mortgage and the groceries and be the primary breadwinner does not diminish his role as a man of the house. You're not dating your son. You're dating a man, your husband
YN Beshier
@NewWordOrder · 5:00
So whatever it takes, do it. This is something that's worked out between the two people or the three people that have to live together. Can't no one from the outside or none of your friends tell you what's going to work for you? This is how I look at it. I have so many friends and family members that are so busy trying to live their life like other people, they're not even living their lives
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:04
And so I think that's why a lot of women who earn decent salaries, they tend to look down upon men who don't earn as much as them because they feel like they're at a higher level. I'm in a different tax bracket than you. I'm at a different level. I'm at a different status than you. And that's not even how it's measured. What about the character of the man? That's got to count for something
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:49
It's like we just continue to stand our ground and it's just driving a bigger and bigger wedge between us to where you have all these single men and women who just can't seem to come together because of all the issues that we allow to divide us. And I wish we were more community driven like a lot of other cultures are
I can see that they live in the way we willing to live yes, on basically a poverty level, but don't even know it. So what about the men? Why do you think that we are buying up all these prisons? Because by the year 2023, every prison in the United States is going to be privatized, and this is big business. And trust me, as sure as we run in this thing right now, we're going to make sure that these prisons are full