Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 6:22
Who Broke Up the Family? The spouse who caused the injury or the spouse who left?
I'm not going to file paperwork for a divorce. So then it's left up to the other spouse to do it. Right. They have to, or else you'll have two very miserable people in family relationships who don't want to be there, who are now moving on to new relationships because they're, quote unquote, separated. So now they're moving on to new relationships and they're having children with other people and they're living a separate life
Yurleidy Adams
@Goddess1212 · 2:52
But then when they get home, and they also tell everybody how they love their children and all this, but when they get home, they don't help with the children, they don't do anything. They're never there. They treat their woman like really bad. And people outside don't see that. Many people don't see that. So we need to watch out with how we relate this, because not everybody knows what's going on inside a home
It's not going to happen, not in american society, and nor should I have custody of my children. It should be split custody. But now it's like, oh, my God, I'm attached. I have to live wherever she lives. In a certain point, you're like, there's no point in getting divorced because let's just get separate apartments. You can date who you want to date. I'll date who I want to date
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 3:09
So, yeah, that's just my answer. I checked out of the relationship long before I actually divorced him because how dare you? How dare you cheat? You think I didn't want to? And that's what I used to tell myself. Yeah, I wanted to do things many times, but I obeyed what God told me to do. So anyway, this is the grace. Well, thank you, sis
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 4:33
So who breaks up the family? The one who broke the vows. When you break the vow that you made before God, your marriage is already on a path of destruction. That's my opinion, though. Thank you
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 5:00
Hey, Ms. Coles, this is a very interesting topic that needs to be discussed, and I'm going to give my viewpoint on it. So for me, when people divorce is both people's faults, there is no one person that is at fault because something failed. Something failed. It don't matter if somebody cheated or if somebody abused someone or simply someone ignored a person. Or maybe people just changed because their goals and insights were different
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:45
But of course, there are different sides of us that not everybody's going to see every side of us. But when you are a completely different person, like, when I see you in the public eye and I almost don't recognize you because the person that I know is nothing like that, then, yeah, that's definitely problematic. And so thank you so much for your response. I appreciate it
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:13
It's not about how much of your money I can get, how much alimony I can get, if I'm going to get the house and then you have nowhere to go if I'm going to end up with the car or end up with your life insurance or whatever. Not about. It's not about that. It's really about us realizing it's not going to work and going our separate ways versus trying to hurt each other in the divorce
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:39
And so some couples try to move past it. Some of them discover they can't move past it. They do all the counseling, and they do all the trying to build that trust back. And for some women and some men, it's just too much to overcome. And so in cases like that, it's just easier for them to part ways than to try to keep trying. And so, yeah, thank you so much for this
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:18
Hey, sis. Thank you so much for your perspective. I have heard, you know, of children being grateful that the fighting and the arguing ends and the tension, because the children can sense the tension between mom and dad even if they're not arguing. Children can sense when something is wrong, when the harmony is not there between their parents. And so the few times that my parents have been mad at each other over the years, it makes it uncomfortable
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:37
And I'm glad that you all have reached that place, because that takes work, it takes maturity, it takes time, it takes healing to get to that place. And so I have friends who've been divorced for years, and they still can't get along with their ex in regards to their children and their children's needs. There's still arguments over every decision that has to be made
I was like, well, you're entering all the confidence in the world, so let's go. It's never been a money thing. I'm in love with this woman. And also I love my kids. So that's what makes it complicated. But that's what makes life fun, is you work on those kind of relationships and it builds love. But like you said, if it doesn't work, the best thing is to just break it off and hit the road
It. And also the will and Jada thing is wild because look how that all played out. She sits him down, admits all that thing to everybody. When you know that that hurt him deep and you just want to keep that secret. Now she's saying they haven't been together since 2017. But then the thing with Chris Rock happened at the oscars. You see where it goes. When you're in that kind of situation, you end doing some wild stuff. Wild stuff
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 4:46
Didn't matter how bad it got, they used to stick it out. And they were taught that nowadays people are less likely to stick it out. And I am a firm believer that, nah, if you are unhappy in a situation, you need to exit. Obviously, you shouldn't just exit just because you're like, well, we're not the way we used to be anymore. I just feel like we're not on the same page. So I'm filing for divorce
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:36
Hey, Tanya. Being a woman who filed for divorce but filed first court divorce twice, I would have never filed for the divorce if the spouse wouldn't have done what they had done. I would have saved. And it wasn't just doing it one time. But if I say to you, okay, this, what you're doing, this is hurting me. This is hurting me, and this is causing a problem in our marriage. Not with our marriage, but in our marriage
The law can do so much. Sometimes it's affairs of the heart, sometimes it's just straight up affairs. And sometimes it's a level of violence that no one should subject himself, herself, themselves to. But all we can hope is that people are true to their honesty and integrity and live honest lives with or without a spouse