And then if we look at the caste system, of course you had to be of the same socioeconomic level, meaning that you could not marry into a poor family, and a poor family would not be allowed to marry into a rich family. You had to be two wealthy families marrying each other. You had to be two poor families marrying each other
Adriane
@Royalcapability · 2:59
And instead they have disputes and I don't know why you act like this. And she said, I don't know why you act like this. It's sad, but it's funny because it's sad for me because I like the fairy tale way. I don't necessarily want to meet a guy and then fall in love. Like, I want to love him as a friend first. Like, I want to love love as a friend
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:41
And we see a lot of times when couples divorced that it wasn't love. It wasn't because they stopped loving each other. They still love each other very much, but there were other areas of their relationship that they could not conquer and they ended up parting ways and going their own way. So, yeah, it's very interesting to see. I love seeing older couples that are still deeply in love with each other, that still flirt with one another, that still show PDA with each other
Nidhin George 🔷
@geo_rhymes · 3:40
But in today's world where security is less of a challenge, I mean, financial security, everyone's working, everyone has access to opportunities in life. So that need has sort of been downgraded a bit. That's no longer the driving need. So now we've moved on to the more intangible things like maybe love, understanding, loyalty, and we give preference to these. And so maybe that's why we started marrying for love and the other intangibles and keeping the strategic part of it behind
Adriane
@Royalcapability · 1:43
And something else I thought about excuse me while listening to you is a lot of times when I know of a few people that met someone in a spontaneous way, they ended up getting married and oh my gosh, they've been together for ten, nine years, twelve years. Already met on a dating site, got married and still together. So I don't know. Oh, something else she mentioned was the older Coles that show PDA and flirt. Yeah, I absolutely love that as well
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
I like to see how they talk to each other because they've reached a level of intimacy and a level of vulnerability and a level of comfort that they can be their genuine self and they don't have to worry about it. And which brings me to my next point. I think that sometimes we marry people's representatives other than marrying the actual person. And so then when we actually find out who the actual person is, we don't like the actual person because we were so hung up
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:46
And I even told my pastor one time, I was like, why don't you just find me somebody? Let the Lord lead you and you find me somebody, and I'll marry him, right? And so we laughed about it, but honestly, if he came to me and was like, the Lord said that this man right here was your husband, I would definitely date him and try to see where that came from, right?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:15
Those things do have to be considered now or are considered now because people are not really coming into marriage poor. They're coming into marriage already having worked or are working and have achieved some things in life. And so it's no longer a need to marry someone who can provide financially. So that was an excellent, excellent point and thank you so much for bringing that out because that is like, super important
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:27
We have to base it on decision and action. And then that is the love that we see. When I talk about spouses choosing one another each day, that's an act of love. The fact that I choose my husband every day, even though I don't want to be his wife today because he really made me mad, I choose him every day. I choose our marriage every day. I choose our family every day. And to me, that's love and action
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 2:55
You also need to look at the familial relationships, right? How is he with his children? Because if you like spending time with your children and he don't like spending time with his, then that's the issue, right? And so we have to think about all of those things when we're getting ready to marry somebody and we're dating somebody. But I think love definitely should be in the top three when you're thinking of marrying somebody, so great topic