But on my dad's side of the family, it's largely very private. And so growing up, because we did not grow up in an environment where people were transparent and open and vulnerable, it started to kind of trickle down to me. I noticed that as I was growing up around my friends that I wasn't very open. I didn't invite people to my house. Nothing wrong with our family or our home, but I didn't invite people over to my house
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 4:55
I do have company when it comes to family, but some of the ways in which I grew up that I do not like, that I didn't like, it has become a part of me, and I'm okay with it. I still don't understand why it was like that. I just so happened to be the exact same way. So I can understand your mom in that aspect
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:45
But it may be even on a shallow level that I don't realize because I remember doing a Facebook post about I kind of told a story about when I got divorced and I kind of told a story about when I had the last miscarriage that I had that my husband
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:16
I don't know, because I don't know anything about my father's side of the family, beyond my aunt, my grandma, my first cousins, and that's it. I don't know anything else about anybody else in that side of the family. So, yeah, I definitely want to be transparent, but I definitely believe it comes from wisdom. And you have to be mindful of what you share, how you share, and who you share it with
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:14
Because if I don't feel like all these things are lining up, then no, you're going to see the reserve side of me. Everything is fine, I'm good. And then we can keep it moving. But yes, and thank you for sharing that part of your story about your miscarriage. I'm so sorry that that happened to you. And I'm really sorry about how your husband treated you after that. I'm just believing God to bring a great man into your life
Kalifa Thomas
@MayaDevi · 4:55
That was really nice sharing. As for me, my family was a little like half and half. My grandparents, definitely old school, don't share. My mother don't volunteer any information. That was always, we don't volunteer any information. And so that's my habit. People that know me say older, those who know me, those who think they know me, those that actually know me know that I talk a lot, but I say nothing
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:46
I, with very much trepidation and hesitation, accepted the friend request. And then once I educated myself on changing the type of profile I had on Facebook and that people could follow me versus friend requesting me, which delivers different content, allows me to deliver different content to them. That's what I do now. So now when I get that random friend request, I'll message the person and give them a friendly warm welcome
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:48
As he's gotten into his thirty s, I noticed he is pretty much private on Facebook. If he's posting, he's posting about his car but he's not posting about my two nieces, his wife, his bonus son or anything like that. We grew up in a household similar to where it was like what goes on in these four walls stays in these four walls
And she ruled with an iron fist. So it's a lot of things in my childhood that I can remember that I carried in adulthood that's not good for me. And I mean just off the cuff, like, kind of off the subject. One of them is carbohydrates. Like when we were kids, all the stuff that was, like, filling, all the stuff that was cheap, like the potatoes, cream of Wheat, pasta, what else?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:41
So when you share certain personal things about yourself online, it can help you create connections with people that you wouldn't otherwise connect with, because you have a commonality there. At the same time, you don't want to expose yourself. And I agree with you on the profiles. I have a couple of cousins
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:35
Nowadays, people can research our lives and find out things about us even if we don't share. So, yeah, it's tricky. It's tricky, but I think it's just a generational thing. Gen Z, they're so used to being transparent and open and having everything out there on social media, whereas us, we grew up more guarded
Oraida Levi
@TalkswithOraida · 4:48
Hi, Tanya. I really love this. Well, privacy versus secrecy, definitely something that's so relatable. First thing that made me think was social media. A lot of people don't share everything because of privacy, not secrecy, because a lot of people do want to keep certain things private for them to enjoy. We see that through celebrities and even social media influencers