Hey, swell cast family. I hope you're having a wonderful Thursday evening. So last night, I made a post about being taken out of the friend zone and seen as a romantic interest. How would someone feel if you've been in the friend zone all this time, and then suddenly the person you're interested in now is interested in you? How would you respond to something like that?
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 4:53
I chose him because I know that the people that I was attracted to was not going to be able to fulfill those things that I desired in life. They were not on the path that I was on or they were not mature enough. Had I chose what I was attracted to, then I probably would have ended up by myself a lot sooner. And it wouldn't have been by my choice like it is now. It would have been by their choice
Nidhin George 🔷
@geo_rhymes · 2:06
Hey, Tanya, that's quite the paradox that you've put forth. So you're right. I don't believe as human beings, sex aside or gender aside, I don't believe any of us should be settling for anything or anyone that we're not fully willing to accept. Right. If there's a situation in your life, be it professional or personal, that you don't like that you're not willing to accept for any reason, don't settle
Adriane
@Royalcapability · 1:36
Man, shoot, y'all both be sitting on a porch in that rock and chair, miserable as heck, playing that song, playing that song that both of y'all will be enjoying because you'll be feeling the same sentiment. Sorry about my ranting, girl, but thanks so much, Tanya, for sharing this. Have a good day
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 4:50
But if the world were perfect, you would not be their first choice. You might not even be their second. So it's very interesting when I hear these topics, or not even marriage either. Relationships. Let's say me and somebody broke up and then I ended up having a kid with another person. Now, I might wish that I could get back with my ex, but because I have a baby with that person, I'm like, you know what?
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:58
It. This is interesting and a couple of factors come to mind. Did the person directly tell you that they are desperate and they want to be with you or is this something that you are perceiving that is going on? Although they're not saying it because I think those could be two different distinctive worlds to which I think if it's the first, there's no question, right, you know, for certain
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:32
Hey, Geo Rhimes. Thank you so much for responding. And yes, I believe that we should have what we want now. I know in a perfect world, we can have what we want. And like another respondent says, most of the time we are with people that may not have been someone that immediately caught our eye. A lot of times people I don't want to say everybody has to settle, but I'm just saying that sometimes we have to put our desires in a realistic perspective
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:07
And so we have talked about his other pursuits when it comes to women, and I hear how he talks about these other women and how excited he is about these other women. And so when he circles back around and tries to proposition certain things to me, I'm like, I can tell that you're just feeling like you're running out of options or something. And so for that, I can't be with the woman that you want to be with. I don't know
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:32
I don't know if you would call it settling if maybe if the woman aesthetically isn't your ideal, but she provides all the intangibles you need. She's feminine, she creates a home for you, she's your safe place, she respects you, she honors you. Those types of things men love. And so even average looking women, if they provide those things, then they can get a good man
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:04
And so when he circles back around and kind of throws these propositions out there to me, it's like, okay, you're circling back around because the pool is getting smaller. You see that I'm still available, or I appear to be available, because I don't have any guys posted on my page, and I'm not talking about a relationship or anything like that. So you assume that I'm still available
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
And maybe he's a T shirt and jeans and cowboy boots type of guy, right? So he's like, oh, she ain't going to want to date me because I'm not on her level. And so maybe that's why he has not approached you up until now, but maybe now he's just like, man, I really like her. I really want to get to know her. I really want to see what she's about. I'm just going to approach her
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:49
And why? Like, why would you make those things up about yourself in terms of his perception or his interest in you? If anything, the thought process should be I'm dope AF and I am that girl, and I am this and I am that. So why wouldn't he be interested in me? Of course it just makes sense because I am her. To look at someone's track record of who they have dated that you've seen, right?
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 5:00
And let me actually wrap up this part that comes into place with the guy that I dated also and everything besides who his family was and one other character boss. He wanted to spend time with me all the time. We both had one time about a couple of years apart. He was on my list. He was tall enough. He wasn't the most attractive facially, but he was not unattractive to the point where I couldn't find things attractive about him. He liked me a lot
The girl of your dreams, or is it the fantasy girl of your dreams? And it's fantasy. You know, even with, you know, women, they want to find their dream boyfriend or husband. Most of that is fantasy. I don't think it's it most of us would never find the perfect partner. We can come up with all these qualities of what we want to find in a partner. All of it is not going to be there