Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:50
Woman waited 10 years for a man to propose. He left and married someone else just five months later.
How do we break this cycle of letting men linger and linger and linger without a commitment? How do we break the cycle of investing time, resources, love into men that are not committed to us? How can we break this cycle? Thank you so much for listening
Antionette Wiggins
@Queen11 · 3:08
Because if his mind is not set for marriage, then you know he's not going to marry you anytime soon. And when you give all to a man, and I mean all body and all, he's getting everything he needs. You have not set any standards, any boundaries. I don't go past a year before I have a conversation and I'm definitely not going past two
Kalifa Thomas
@MayaDevi · 5:00
And so if there's no commitment and you come over, we play house, we have sex, then you keep giving pieces of yourself to someone who's not giving you anything. Men don't really understand that the physical act of love making for most women is an act of love. It is. I want to give you me versus a man just fulfilling somebody's need
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
And they know what kind of relationship. If they just want to be in a relationship where, yeah, he say you his woman, but he going to keep his options open or if he want to be committed or if he want to live with you because he like you and he see potential. But he think there may be better. Or if he wants to marry you, like most men, within six months, at least a year
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 4:57
We can't put blame on someone else for making us wait when clearly they had no intention on wifeing. You right. Having a baby does not make you wife material, makes you a mother. And you continue to go back and forth. You let them come in and out. They're going to do what they want to do anyway. It doesn't really make a difference. And let's face it, sometimes men don't see the qualities that you think you possess to warrant a proposal
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:57
I mean, we always heard the term, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? And I'm not just talking about, okay, they're adults, they have sex. Okay, fine. But I'm thinking, like, something that happened to me when I first started business. When you first start a business, you first start selling products and doing services. A lot of people want to start doing it with a discount, right?
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
I'm talking about in a boyfriend girlfriend type situation. Men know very early if they want to marry you or not. So if you make it to year two and you all are not married and you all are not having serious conversations about marriage, you all ain't went looking at rings yet. You all ain't talked about like, okay, if we do get married, what would it look like? Would you live at my house or I live at your house?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:50
Because we think that single people should just date, date, date, date and have fun, date, date, date, dating, and that's it. But really, we should be dating with a purpose because we don't want to waste time going on all these first and second dates that lead to absolutely nothing. Like, what is the purpose? If we are going on these dates, then what is the real purpose of these dates?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:19
If the boyfriend is getting all of the privileges of marriage, he's getting sex. He's getting his clothes washed, his food cooked, he's getting all the things that marriage can provide. He's got a child. He's getting all the things that marriage normally provides without marrying you. So what's the incentive at that point to marry? Besides you having my last name, what's the incentive to us getting married? Because we're doing all the things that married people do
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:44
He might have been entertaining other women who weren't willing to offer that she was. I think she just offered way too much too soon. And I think growth, maturity. But even during the ten years, there should have been some growth, some maturity to the point where she's like, Look, I know what I want. I know what I need. You're not providing that for me
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:38
They would step up and marry their pregnant girlfriends because they did not want their children born out of wedlock. They didn't want that shame of having a child out of wedlock, an illegitimate child, so to speak. They didn't want that shame of that. So they would marry a woman so that she wouldn't have that reproach on her, of being a single, unwed mother, and their child wouldn't have the reproach of being born out of wedlock
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:13
Girl they stayed married all of maybe two years and got divorced. So all of that living together, having a child all together and constantly, when are we going to get married? When are we going to get married? When are you going to get married? Just to get married and end up divorced. I mean, it's just wild like that. So all of that was really for nothing at the end of the day. But thank you so much, Chris, for this
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:57
If all you want to do is date and sleep with different women at your middle age, you want to still do that if that's the way you want to live or if you just want to have a lifelong girlfriend and you don't ever want to get married, you just want me to be your lifelong girl. No, that ain't going to work either