When we are invited to certain gatherings, we base our decision to go on whether we want to be there versus how we can celebrate and support the person that is going to be the the focus of that event, such as a baby shower. We'll back out of a baby shower because we think baby showers are cheesy and corny. Instead of, wow, I should go to celebrate my friend who is having a baby
It's, I think it's probably more so of nowadays is what can this person do for me? If this person can't do much for me, I really don't want to attend anything that they have going on, but if I do, I want to see if I can get some type of gain from it. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I've done it, you know, I've done it
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:36
And at the same time, I have participated in things that I'm not really crazy about just to support someone else, like people having big birthday parties. I'm not into big birthday parties. Me personally, I've never wanted anyone to give me a huge birthday party. I just don't get into big parties like that. I'd rather be surrounded by people that I love versus a big show of stuff
When it's not about them, it's not about them. Someone is actually inviting you in to celebrate with them and it just gets rejected. That's crazy. I'm with you with this one. I really am. Thank you so much for sharing
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:11
Hey, SIS. Thank you so much for your input. And I agree with you 100%. I consider it an honor that people invite me to these events because I know with this current economy, it is not cheap to put on a shower. It is not cheap to put on a wedding. It is not cheap to do tanya of these things
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:32
And even when I get invited to stuff, I'll be like, oh, well, there's not going to be nobody there for me to talk to, or I don't really want to go to a baby shower or I don't really want to go to a bridal shower, or whatever it is, a birthday party, open house, whatever it is. Oh, I can't be outside like that because of my skin and just different excuses. And excuses really are just lies, right?
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 4:59
We're in a world where in school we're taught to hurry up and get into groups, to do this group project, do this public speaking thing here or in the jobs there's icebreakers where you have to stand up and talk or I know that you're tired, but you have to come to this wedding. We're going to be at this hotel at 04:00 A.m. And at 05:00 A.m., I did it all, okay? And even when I didn't want to
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 1:46
And just like with certain people in my family or my circles, I always let them know there's no pressure to attend. I'm still your friend and I still love you. I always make sure to tell my family that like hey, no pressure. For whatever reason. Hey, no pressure. I know you still love me. I try to make sure people under understand that I understand it's very exhausting being in the business of explaining temperaments. So I don't explain myself anymore
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:14
Maybe I really am tired and I just need to lay down and rest, and I need to do that versus using that as an excuse as to why I'm just going to be showing up for people. So thank you so much, SIS, for your input, as always
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:38
Hey, Erica, thank you so much for your input. Okay, so I understand what you're saying about temperaments and things like that. I think here is my issue when it comes to certain things like that. I think sometimes we not you. I'm speaking in general. I think sometimes we use those as a crutch. And so anything that involves socialization, we're just like, no, I don't do that. It and we can sometimes use those things as a crutch
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 2:10
I think a lot of literature is coming out even more now because a lot of people who are introverted find themselves having to defend themselves. We don't want to be called antisocial or selfish, but those are the terms that I was called due to the lack of understanding. People who are okay with public speaking, people who are party people, they don't really need that much literature put out about them because they're quote unquote, normal