And it's painful when a child goes through a divorced of their parents, but I don't know, would it be painful to see your parents after the divorce getting along? Laughing, dad coming over for dinner, mom and dad hanging out, and then dad leaving to go to his house and mom staying at the house. I was just wondering, would that be confusing? I know I'm kind of rambling here, but is happily divorced really a thing?
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:00
And so I think it's pretty sad when two people join together and they get married, and then for whatever reason, they divorced. But then, now that they're divorced, they hate each other. Well, did you really even like each other in the beginning? You know what I mean? And here's the thing. If you continue to hate the person that you divorced, how will you ever move on? How will you ever move on? How will you ever get to healing?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:54
Because with my friend's current situation, I'm sure that if she decided to move on to another relationship, it would be a problem there. Because even though they're not together, so they say they're not together, they act like they're together. So to me, that would present a problem in the future if I decide to move on to someone else and you're still carrying a torch for me. And although we're not in an exclusive relationship, we live as though we are
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 2:02
I've seen it with guys I've dated where the ex wife, they had this problem and that problem. The police were called. They fought. Somebody cheated. This, that and the other. She's a this, she's a that. She causes trauma. Oh, my gosh. She's crazy. Oh, her tire has a nail in it. Let me run over there and take it out with my teeth. Literally jump whenever she calls
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:05
When you're the person that is left out there because your ex has now started a relationship with someone else and so you're no longer the go to person. So, yeah, I just think boundaries need to be set. And of course, in these relationships, everybody acts like they don't care if the other person moves on, but that's because the other person hasn't moved on
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 4:52
I worried about the kids being affected and I didn't want them to be affected. I feel that kids should not have to suffer and have lack due to parents being divorced. They should still be able to experience mom and dad relationships without that effect. And so sometimes when people get bitter or upset, they hurt the children. So I didn't want that to happen. So my understanding was that, hey, we're going to get along. And we've been doing that
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 4:24
And right now, especially with things I go through with my children, especially my son, I wish somebody would come in and tell me that I can't communicate. I wish they would dropped real quick. Dropped real quick and wouldn't care. So I make that known. But yeah, children don't ask for it, so why should we not communicate? And you once love that person so much that you married them
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:59
All so I do think there has to be some boundaries if you all have another person, I do think there has to be boundaries, but I don't think there's anything wrong with him still taking care of you, of him still taking care of you, per say, because it affects the children. Because if you're not good, then your children are good. If your car ain't running, then how are you going to take the children?
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 4:46
So we both have life insurance through our jobs, and then I pay for extra life insurance through a private agency, and both our names are on all the policies. That's just the way that I wanted it, because I didn't want any harsh things. Like, I grew up in a family and my parents were always bickering and arguing. I didn't want that. I didn't want to pass that down, so I ended it
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 3:42
But here's something that has been happening in my own life is, and I don't know exactly how it's going to work itself out, but I do have someone who has been in my life, and I can't live together under the same roof with that person. But I certainly enjoy a good dinner, a good company. But I don't know if I would call that a friendship partnership because it doesn't really meet the definitions of that
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:38
And I'm not saying got to be mean. You don't have to be mean. But maybe de escalating from friendly and friendship to cordial, we're working cordial. We're cordial with one another, and we're working amicably together to co parent our children, et cetera. But maybe I need to de escalate from making you believe that I would be open to a reconciliation. If I know I'm not open to a reconciliation, it's like, I'm not
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 0:43
That's been my mo. Like, we're friends until something else shifts, but other than that, we're friends. But, yeah, I totally understand where you're coming from, and hopefully you guys will figure out what you want and what you're looking for and what that future may look like for both of you. So thank you so much for this