Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 1:55

How do express your dark side?

Hey, swell. How's it going? So, following on for my last question, I have another question, and the question is, how do you express your dark side? Do you express it or do you suppress it? And if you do express it, have you found a way to erase it and maybe have some sort of art sort of way of expressing it within art or within your personality or in something you do? I was listening to Robert Green talk about this on a podcast

@MarkR

Some notion of what the masses define as light, because I think the darkness is unavoidable. And so I would rather incorporate it, absorb it into who I am, let it be a part of who I am, to be able to keep tabs on it. All of that to say, I don't think that there was a light expression or a dark expression, but this is just me. I know that this in some ways can be contrary to how many think and perceive some of these things
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:43

@SeekingPlumb

Hi. Hi, Christina. I'm again in the car. Right back at you with the noise. Sorry. That's a great answer. And I listened to your swell. I went and found it. I didn't realize you did a swell on the same thing or similar subject. I really like what you were saying that, you know, why put that why put those restrictions and why put those boundaries? Or why make it so complicated when you could just be fully you?
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

@MarkR

To me, it's along the lines of anybody who believes in the quote unquote one, that concept in itself is so damaging because then you start asking yourself questions like why haven't I found them? Why am I not good enough? And where is my one? And you create all this internal turmoil that's unnecessary. And then when you do find the one, then you might stay in that relationship or put up with things that are not healthy because you've deemed them to be the one
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 1:27

@SeekingPlumb

The limitations that the more we define things, the way I'm understanding it is, the more limitations we will put on ourselves. It's almost like putting yourself in a box. It's really interesting because by trying to define it, you're then limiting yourself instead of just and letting it flow. Very, very interesting. Thank you. This has been very enlightening

@MarkR

It's super abstract, super reductive. It gives us an idea. But we can't stop there if we want full understanding. And although that swell was more about understanding and those kinds of topics, I think it still fits when we're talking about our emotional relationship to these things. Because the more rigid those frames, those boxes, the more shoulds and oughts are introduced. The more expectations are introduced, the more we what's the word? I don't know
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:57
What is it that your soul, your spirit, your mind, your body really is asking for in this moment? Honor that. Nurture that so that you can continue being the great person that you are. Because if you don't feed this side, you're lopsided. And things really begin to turn around for me in a really phenomenal, magical way
Mike W
@Scribe7 · 5:00
I have to control it because it involves handcuffs and it involves jail and a lot of violence, and I was raising a lot of violence, and that was the way that people solved their problems. And then working in the jail, that was more violence. And it was like a license to a license to lose. It not saying you go around messing with people, but it was always something going on. Where these guys was, we were outnumbered, like, 30 to 150 to one
Mike W
@Scribe7 · 2:34
Or you flew off the handle when you're supposed to be able to be professional and control the personal stuff or leaving home at home and leaving work at work, that type of thing, and treating everybody the same every day. My supervisor, one day he'd come in and I'd be like, hey, how you doing, buddy? The next day, he look you right in your face and keep on walking like you ain't nothing. Like you ain't nothing
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 2:38

@SeekingPlumb

Hi. I love that quote by you. I think that's perfect. And it's so true, the irony, right? Yeah. I was listening to you just now. I'm sorry, I'm outside a little bit of background noise, but I was listening to you just now and it's so true. That blurring the lines on. And I know I keep going back to acting and I kind of open this conversation, talking about charisma and what makes a character interesting, right?
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 5:00

@Her_Sisu

And she talks about how, for instance, if somebody from what one chapter is like, if you're struggling financially, she says, if you're broke, if you really think about it, that anxiety, that fear is the same as excitement. And actually, it's like a kick. You're getting a kick out of it
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:35

@Her_Sisu https://s.swell.life/STizJi3AETZkUVu

Crying, turning into rage and turning back to crying and actually killing someone in the play, the Shakespearean part, and I couldn't turn it off. So I would come off stage and I DMs for a good 20 minutes, half an hour, and I was after that run of that play, I was seriously ill. I was finished, wiped out, and I nearly didn't ever want to act again. It was like, I can't do this
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:56

@Scribe7

He he kind of had it happened to him and then so boxing to him was nothing. He couldn't get hurt because he did through so much. That's what he would say. But I would see the rage. When you look at the photos as well of the stills of the fight and you see the rage in someone's face, there's something else going on there, man. It's not normal
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 5:00

@Scribe7

Yes. Saying all of that. I think it's really important to express it, because if you don't I mean, what we're saying, there's different types. There's places to express it. And for instance, if I'm with clients, I'm coaching someone. Yeah, Mike, sometimes I'm I'm there's more of an edge to me because of something that's going on in my life
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:31

@MarkR YES! Its the same book.

The other one is The Alchemist, and I forget who the author is of that. The third one is Becoming by First Lady Michelle Obama. And then the fourth one is The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. Those four books, there are multiple components of each of those great reads that I quote or reference several times throughout a month, and Existential Kink is the latest one of those that I've read that was recommended to me last year and it had taken me eight months to actually get the book more
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:53

@MarkR knowledge is power

I remember being told by family members and even my own mother that I really had no right to grieve him because I wasn't married to him like she was for 40 plus years. And so I took that and internalized it and said, I guess they're right. I think she's suffering more than me because it was just my dad. Just my dad, Mike. How does that sound? Like? He was my dad for 30 at the time he died. I was 36, 36 years
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:54

@Her_Sisu

But what an interesting example of pushing something down like that, pushing your emotions away and not dealing with them. And in the book Existential King, she says that if you're raw, then you should grieve first. Right. And then use her techniques, which of course, I think is right, but eventually you have to face it. I did something once called heart meditations, where you draw in things into your heart, unpleasant circumstances
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 3:31

@Her_Sisu

I'm getting used to doing that first, bringing up these emotions and letting them simmer and mix them with what's going on in my day. And I haven't tried it yet in conversation with people or if I'm just with people. But that would be the next that would be the next experiment, because that's how you acting, method acting
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 0:08
I said emotions, but I mean feelings, thoughts. I'm bringing all that and letting it simmer
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:01

@Her_Sisu

We try and bury those emotions as fast as possible if they're like, they're uncomfortable and like, man, this is uncomfortable. I need to either get out away from this place or this situation and or bury it with some people smoke a cigarette or they eat some food or they do something. Now, I'm not saying that we should ignore our emotions or actually just ignore them
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:30

@MarkR

And it's true. And it depends on how much inner reflection we do in time we spend in meditation to really be able to understand and know the energy in the energy shift or an added energy or removal of an energy. There is a process, a technique I have read about called mirroring. And it's helpful in the sense of working more so, especially with people who have been through traumatic events or are going through a time of grief or a really hard time to mirror them
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:33

@MarkR

And I had to dig deep that it comes from my inner child needs and desires and things that my inner child did not receive. And so my inner child was saying, hey, I am afraid. I am scared, and I don't want to be abandoned and I don't want to be forgotten about and I don't want to be ignored and I don't want to be all of these things. And I had to speak to that inner child in me
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 4:49

@Her_Sisu

And if I am asking the client to inhale and exhale because I'm trying to get rid of something in the body, as in a knot and disperse it, and I think my breathing goes in tune with in sync with the client. And that's what I know. Apart from feeling, Mike, you've done a good job because they feel better, and you can feel that they're better, but also you feel like you've done a better job rather than just talking
Rohan RR
@SpecialMission · 1:17
So the first key element is to love yourself so that everything falls apart easily. That's the first key to break down all the accumulations which has happened. So turn your darkness into love and love yourself. That's what I do
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 1:01

@SpecialMission

Hey. Yes? Love yourself. I like it. I like it. I mentioned on this thread to somebody else there was a meditation. It's called a Tshirt meditation. Maybe you already know about it, but it's transforming everything through your heart. Breathing it out with love. And I man, it sounds so simple, but it's so effective until you try it. When I first tried it and started using this meditation, I wouldn't have thought it would be so good

0:00
0:00