And so to feel as though you've reached this pitiful place in your life, in your career, and to realize that you're still ostracized, you're still being othered, you're still not accepted, you are still rejected. It's frustrating. It's very, very frustrating. And a lot of times it just feels like there's nothing that you can do differently. It's been like this for a very long time, and there's nothing that you will be able to do differently