Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:54
Is Conditional Love/Commitment Superior to Unconditional Love/Commitment?
And one of the things I was reading was saying that a lot of times we base things on the premise of this idea of unconditional love or commitment that could be to a spouse, it could be to your sons or daughters, it could be to a workplace or an organization or something like some sort of entity or thing you associate with
Glenn Mann
@GlennPriceMann · 0:51
So, yeah, this is a very interesting topic and question. And really, I don't know what the answer, the answer I would have right now, but it's a great topic and really leads to a lot more thinking. Me
And I think that notion of being frozen in amber puts us in a lot of trouble because you have to check in with each other. I don't care if it's an intimate relationship, a parent child relationship, friendship, business relationship. You've got to check in with each other, and not just in a casual service kind of way, but in a really deep and meaningful way. And to be blunt, especially in an intimate relationship, setting some expectations may save some heartbreak down the road
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 4:49
There was a time when I was right there where it's what is unconditional love and what is loving with conditions. And I grew up being loved with conditions and I had to retrain myself to find a definition of unconditional love. And that is that space where we may hold for children, not for spouses or friends and so on. What is unconditional love? Can we love without conditions? Absolutely. I feel I love without conditions
Lolita Eaddy
@Woodiemountain · 1:24
If we look to one's persons to fill all of our needs, we may be expecting something one person can't provide. Love can drive on only certain conditions. They need to be enough maturity. Love means being sensitive to our space between ourselves and others, being respectful, attentive and attuned to each other's feelings. It means slowing down, staying connected to our bodies and allowing ourselves to be affected by what others feel. And it doesn't mean feeling obligated always
All of us should have dreams and joyful hope and health and goodness in our lives, surrounding us, flowing through us. Now, if we happen to meet somebody who is vibrating with that same energy, we now are faced with the fact that no matter what we do, the people who have been in the longest long term relationships, or people who are fresh two years off the honeymoon, it will never change
Susi Lawson
@susisouljourney · 5:00
I'm not sure humans are actually capable because we're full of egos and triggers from childhood, and all kinds of things affect the way that we relate to one another. So one of the reasons I see my daughter as the only person that I can come close to unconditional love with because I raised her, I know what hurts her. I know what she's been through
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Susi Lawson
@susisouljourney · 1:52
And honestly, do not miss him. I've gotten to where don't even let yourself feel guilty. If there's a relationship that's exhausting you and draining you and taking from the quality of your own life, you don't owe anybody that. Like I say, the only person I would go that far with is my daughter and grandson. And of course, they're a joy in my life
Cheyonia Wade
@Chey · 4:55
So this is what I expect. I think that is definitely more top tier to me than someone that's just, I love you and you don't even know what you want for yourself or out of yourself or the other person until it's not given to you, but, yeah, you. Like I said, that's just my opinion. I'm just weighing in because I thought this was a very good topic. Interesting that you chose this one. But I thought it was really good
Rebuilding Rob
@RebuildingRob · 3:12
And I always find that ironic about our system. We talk about having so much freedom and so many options, and yet realistically, we got two parties, we can vote for one or the other. I kind of like a system where you see, like in France, where they have something like 23 different political parties and they're all kind of vying for a position
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:58
Maybe in that way you can focus on policy, but if everybody identifies with those parties and they kind of have their weighted, and they're weighted to the grounds of their decision, I think that may lead to standstill in government, maybe
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 2:13
I think my original thought of what true love is, and this could be from our culture, it could be from church, it could be from watching movies and tv, it could me from the idealized idea of romanticism in what relationships are supposed to be. But as I listened to you, I think maybe I thought the idea of actually what true love is, is unconditional. Think of when you go to church. Right. True love. Well, I think you mentioned that. True love
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 2:07
I hear this loud and clear, and my response to this is probably going to be similar to the one I responded to by the user chey C-H-E-Y. Hope I said that right. And I know I'm going backwards here because he's at the bottom of my replies, but in that unconditional love may be an ideal, but to have but conditional love is essentially love for self
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:50
So by the time you are 25 and maybe you're thinking of things seriously, or if that used to be the age around when we did, you do have a sense of what you want out of relationship that's beyond just what you saw in people around you, like your parents or your uncles or neighbors and that sort of thing, you have some kind of experience to speak of. But even then, I think with life experience comes some things of clarity in knowing what you want
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 1:05
But and how much I interact myself, expose myself to you and deal with you and act in services of love is really dependent on how the environment is conditioned in a large part related to that other person in the mix. That's an interesting thing to think about. So yeah, I can have unconditional love for you, but you know, either after or during my participation, and I could also have a sense of unconditional love at the same time. That is certainly something to think about
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 2:51
I'm a school teacher and I teach kids in the twelve to 15 year old range. And your comments kind of ring true for me. Like, I don't know if ring chey is the word, but the idea that kids need unconditional love, it makes me think a little bit because sometimes I'm like, yo, you kids are the worst
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 3:04
So I guess one way maybe to decide, because people have said you can, depending on the situation, there's conditional love, or unconditional love is more appropriate. Maybe the thing is, if you are to give something closer to unconditional love, it is to a person that fully shows themselves to you consistently and thoroughly. And it maybe that's kind of way to go. It's an interesting perspective, but it's just something from something else. I read that
Unconditional love that will determine how much I want to work and strive for the manifestation of health and life and success and joy and happiness for people around me. And then when those relationships with people around me become more specific and practical and actual, that's when that internal conditional variable inside circle starts to form
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 2:14
We want to put rules and regulations on it. And then we want to second guess, do we love? Then we want to ask opinions of other people. Do you think it's love? Do you think this is right? They can't love me if they do this. They can't love me if they say that. They can only love me if they do this. You don't tell me you love me. You don't love me. You don't spend time with me
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00
And bringing God into the equation may rub people the wrong way. Or some might say, if God has unconditional love for his creation, then perhaps what the brother is saying as far as what the author said is correct. The brother's point exactly. The author's point exactly. In other words, if God has unconditional love for his creation, then God would be disappointed. Because look at what man is doing, has done, is doing, and will do in terms of relationships
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 4:55
And thank you for putting your relationship on the table for us to look at in love and civility and respect. But those boundaries are beautiful pathways to friendship. And, yes, you should have absolutely cut that person off who's taking advantage of you. And you're kind, and it's good to be kind. I revel in kindness. I love that I am a kind person. It does, however, sets us up for a certain path
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 4:15
In all of this, healthy communication is unconditional. If I get good. Communication really is a foundation for unconditional experiences. Having no boundaries or allowing others to take advantage of us, that's not what we're looking at. We're setting healthy boundaries, and we're protecting our mental well being while still maintaining love. And compassion is the thing. And I guess there's a part of what's happening in the vibe here is that forever, unconditional love is forever
Susi Lawson
@susisouljourney · 2:54
But I started realizing, wait a minute, after a year, this guy, I'm sure he's still grieving, but that's not an excuse to treat anyone in a harsh way or to treat anyone as though he's entitled to use them. It just started to feel that way, that he felt entitled to use me as his will and then throw a little fit if I wasn't completely at his beck and call. So it just got toxic