If only I could just explain things better, then she could come around to my way of thinking, calm down, and we could have a wonderful time. You might be expecting me to say that no one will ever change anyone's mind that women are stupid, but you are smart and that they are emotional creatures, so why waste your time? But the issue isn't that women are emotional, fickle, or whatever. The issue is more fundamental than that
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 2:20
So unlike arguments among men, your character is not only part of the discussion, it's the entire point. This is why all those arguments end with you getting accused of being a misogynist or an asshole. Women are hyper aware of their self image. This is why they cannot imagine anything you say that doesn't exist to judge her and potentially reduce her social status. Not sure what this means. This is subconscious. We don't even know we are doing it, but we are
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:10
I find this so, such an interesting topic or just the way it's described because, not because I think it's right or wrong, but because it just gives me a different perspective to think from. Like, I I know sometimes in my own relationship I've been like, I come to a thing trying to solve a problem. And no matter how I feel, this is kind of why it resonated with me. It is. Are we moving towards solving the problem?
What's funny, too, is that I think all humans do this, but I see more of the jockeying for position happening with men in conversations because it's about quote unquote winning, or it's about standing on top of the mountain with capital T. Truth, right? It's not about anything else. And so, to say that this is what women are supposedly all about
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:55
There's that whole side of things that's assumed in this book that may not be considered on your end, that may help improve things. I know there's a communal aspect, but I'm kind of honing in on that lens for the purpose, I think, for the intended audience of the book, which is more or less about the outcome that would result from addressing things that way. Um, but no, I hear all your points, and I don't want to
It may take a while, and of course, we may never actually get to complete an utter understanding of one another, but it's a path forward. And I think simply knowing if it's true that men approach conversations with truth as a priority and that's how they are perceiving women, and women approach it, that the relationships and the individuals take the priority and that's how they perceive men, then we can work with that, right?
Lornay Michaels
@ResilienceRO · 1:00
Good morning. So I'm just going to respond to the part about the man saying, like, calm down to the female. That could easily fuel the argument. Because sometimes, I know, speaking from experience, sometimes I'm communicating and I'm told to calm down, but I was never showing any type of, with hostility or being loud. I'm just expressing myself and them just saying calm down. It kind of angers me and gets me upset even more
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 0:36
You. Yeah. Thank you. I think every bit helps. It's less of me looking for a very specific answer and me saying, I started reading this book for a particular reason, but there's broader context to consider and given that what I've seen and I have living experience, what are the sort of things I'd be missing? So that is definitely something else I haven't thought about. It is definitely something I've done. Definitely said, yo, chill out. Yeah