The Holy Spirit will free me up by my act of forgiveness, God's act of forgiveness through me because we lost a loved one in regards to this and so forth. You blame the person, but there's actually the spirit that was in the person. You see what I mean? So we have to show the love of Christ and be the bigger person that God wants us to be so that we can come into forgiveness, so that we can have the peace that surpasses all understanding