Being A Second Class Citizen In Your Own Family
It's like, wow, I'm sure a lot of immigrant children can relate your first bully is your parents. They will break you down to your core. So our skin is so tough when it comes to going to the outside world. However, that doesn't make it healthy. That doesn't make it normal. So, please, I would love to hear your thoughts about how you feel like you're a second class citizen in your own family. Are you the black sheep?
Hey, Isabella. Crazy. I can kind of relate and resonate. It's tough when you do something, when you do all this work to kind of break the conditions and programs of your life and all that that brings with it. And meanwhile, you obviously know the family, your family has not done that right or else it would be significantly easier for you to do that
Isoellen Writes
@Isoellen · 4:54
And I want to stop there because in the interest of understanding and growing and learning, I'm just wondering for your parents, because that has had such negative consequences on you, but for your parents, was it worse for them? Were their parents also their bullies or are they doing this out of, is this learned behavior from their own childhood, or is it learned behavior from their experiences and their fears? Sometimes when we're hurt to keep from getting hurt, we hurt others
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
And not to say every immigrant child's household is like this, but I know for a majority of me and my friends, they can resonate with a lot of things that I've dealt with. And it's hard growing up in that type of environment. I had to learn how to vocalize my emotions. I had to learn how to stand up for myself, set boundaries
And I get, as a parent, you're going to worry for your child. I get that. But she just went straight to doomsday catastrophe, and that was one example. I feel like she's fearful of outside. She doesn't like to go grocery shopping if it's not with my dad. She likes the lifestyle that my dad has gotten her accustomed to
So understanding why we act the way that we act based on our upbringings and environment in society and how that impacts us, I always promise myself the trauma, the generational trauma, the childhood trauma ends with me and hopefully ends with my sisters, my brother. I don't know so much, but it ends with me
Isoellen Writes
@Isoellen · 2:24
I've got all this stuff, this baggage from my life, from my parents, from my upbringing, and I really want to solve some of this stuff. I want to find peace here, but I can't because my parents aren't going to give me the kind of peace that I'm looking for. So that's okay. I'm still going to be me anyways. I'm still going to go out and grow and face my challenges and explore this world
Isoellen Writes
@Isoellen · 2:25
It's like it would be just so easy for you to unlock this door and the world would open and we could communicate better. But sometimes those things are so incredibly painful to let go of and I personally hate pain, emotional pain. I'm not very good with it. So I appreciate you sharing your vulnerability. That's amazing and your story and your journey is going to be amazing and has been so far
And then when they have the second child, they've learned from their mistakes with you, the oldest child, which again, I understand, and they try to improve and so forth. But that's, I think, another topic. But what you are experiencing is pretty much what I've experienced, and I found later in life
Darrain …
@TheBriefOne · 4:57
God is healed only reason I'm still here not in the field it's off of operator and we all got appeal for selling the cheapest soul to be red peel selling what you hold dear to a race deal golden things buried behind strings of fresh tears. No matter what, though, God and death is showing you always something we feel in love, but love to always feel. And that's all, dog. That's my life. That's just life. This life is all our lives
Once again, thank you for responding and giving me my praise and continuing to support my podcast. I truly, truly love it. And once again, I love you guys and make sure you continue to choose yourself every day. Bye
She's not a pancake kind of person. And she was like, who are you to tell me what to do? You're not her parent. You don't got no kids. You can't tell me what to do. And it just went left. So offering my insights, I stopped doing. I stopped having high expectations for her
Darrain …
@TheBriefOne · 0:08
You're just doing a wonderful job. Keep going, okay? Just keep going. Much love and respect later