And I don't know that I want to go through that emotional suffering if my life is going to be a life lived without her, never being married, living on a small teacher's income, never really seeing the dreams that I want fulfilled. I just don't know that I want to live a long life under those circumstances. I guess in some way, I would have to see for a while how it played out
And it's so crazy talking to you about this, because I don't know what birth order you fall in, but just maybe pop a thought into my mind about what happens to those men who have kids who have firstborn sons, but they turn out gay. But anyway, I know that's kind of weird where I just went there just for a second, but I was just thinking about that because I have no. This cousin, my oldest cousin, my mom's. My grandmother's
I'm kind of at that place in life where it's like, if I ever do an album or music, it's gonna be like a bucket list kind of thing, a passion project. I want to write a book. I want to write a couple books, actually. Not even, like, just, like. Like, real books that can help people. Like, really, really help people. Like, I want to write a book on, like, how to move
And you know something? I wish I had my girlfriends that can just jump in the car with me and go to me to Vegas and stuff. I wish I didn't have to do so many new things and make so many new friends and accommodate people and do all types of stuff. But the emotional damage you were talking about emotional damage, I think it's emotionally damaging and I think it's not healthy to kind of have. I think you can prepare, but I don't think you should
And I pray and I hope that you find that too. Homosexuality. We deserve to find our, our forever. We will. Because you and I believe in that. We believe in love. We believe that love exists for us. It does. One day teachers in this country will get the pay they deserve. One day I will get the pay I deserve. I'll get my reparations. I gotta admit, I have. I'm a lucky woman
L A
@homosanity · 4:48
And there was a part of me that wanted to say, oh, no, you would still have more to live for, and I think you would. But it's, you know. You know, I remember when my dad and sister died. They both died within six months of each other. And it was something we never planned on. They both had cancer. I'm sorry about the background noise. And I learned what it meant to live a new normal
L A
@homosanity · 4:52
I just wanted to throw this in here, too, because I'm on a walk right now. And I was thinking about this today. And that is the hunger of the soul. And, you know, a certain sadness around that hunger. I think that's always there. I think we're born with a desire for more. And we're not always in touch with that hunger. Because sometimes we have that love in our life that support or we're doing things
I don't think it matters anymore in this society. It's kind of horrible to wake up every day and see bad people being rewarded for bad behavior, right? Like, it's like, what if you're sitting around being a goody two shoes? Which I'm totally not far. Could be far from it. I'm not. Not that innocent. You know what I mean? Like, you see so many bad people doing bad stuff and still getting rewarded
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 2:05
He didn't want to do hospice, but he didn't take his life. He just let the Lord call him. And the Lord did call him. And I'm so grateful because at the end, my dad was in so much pain. But you, you're hilarious. You, you are hilarious. You have a beautiful book that's out. And I know you say you're lonely, but you have friends here on swell. And you say you have family that loves you
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 4:59
But the reality is that when someone cannot live because they're on a physical decline and they're stuck in a bed, and there's no way ever, they're even gonna be able to communicate again. That's one thing. That's a physical dilemma. I can understand letting someone go in that condition, but someone who's emotionally fraught, that, my friend, can and should be remedied, how do we remedy that? Well, that's the big question, isn't it?
L A
@homosanity · 0:50
Lady. Fi, thanks for this. I really like what you said about there's another chapter to be written, like, it's a story, right? A book. And to just be a character in a story who says, well, this main character, who's definitely a worthwhile character in my life, is taken out, so I'm going to end the whole story is a terrible way to end things. So I really, really love that
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 0:06
I love you too, my friend. The world would be a very dark place if you weren't here
L A
@homosanity · 0:09
I love the image you created. I so appreciate that in your words. Thank you so much