She was my first bully, still is a bully to me. And I thought about that yesterday and I exhaled and I said out loud, just on my own driving, I don't like her. And you guys. Now, those who have the societal expectation of what the parent child relationship should be, trust me, I've struggled with it myself. I breathed a sigh of relief
Ava K
@Learningtobeme · 4:51
I think the major point now at this point I think is let us not be the same parent that our kids come back to the same points and say later on let's try to understand their situation to the best possible and there would be differences, there would be friction wherein they feel probably the same way sometimes. But you cannot hold them accountable right now because they're still growing as individuals
I don't like that he never really tried for myself or my siblings or whatever. But I do have this deep I don't know if it's an obligation because I do genuinely care for the guy. I don't like him. I don't like him. I mean, I could go on. I'm going on three minutes, so I'm going to wrap it up. But I just wanted to say that I relate and I apologize for what you had to go through with your mother
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 2:09
And if they didn't do it a certain way, I would get mad. Never gave them the silent treatment, but they knew I was disappointed. So being a helicopter mom the way I am, I always tried to protect them from everything. And I know you can't do that, but I tried. I really appreciate you sharing this because it gives me time to reflect. Now, my 17 year old daughter still lives with me, but my 18 year old moved out
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:53
It came out just so it was like, I don't like her. I don't like her. And Evelyn, me repeating it to you now, I don't feel the weight or heaviness that I was carrying all of this time up until yesterday, me being able to say it in truly exhale, and now it's more of, I have prayed for her and I have released her on her own journey
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:21
And so I thank you for sharing. I thank you for allowing us to share. I don't want to censor myself here, but I just want to say your story so deeply resonates with me when I married my ex husband. So let me just go back. I know some people often say that little girls grow up to marry their dads, right? And if she had a great dad, fine
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:47
I was listening to you and I was thinking about a memory of my mom used to I don't know why she would hide in the house and I would walk around looking for her and she said it was because I was clingy. She didn't like that I was clingy and that she would hide. And I would walk room to room looking for her, calling out her name to the point that I'm screaming her name and shaking and crying because I'm thinking that she's left me
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:43
She just didn't know any better, and maybe she did and didn't care, and I have to forgive her for that, too. So that's where my heart pours out for your daughter and my heart pours out to you as a mother. Because I'm a mother and I think frequently with my 14 year old son, what are things that I am knowingly doing and unknowingly doing that he's like? I know one of them is he doesn't like when I talk incessantly
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:49
I care about whatever industry I'm in. There's a difference between just doing it and really doing it. And I often wonder, well, my mother certainly couldn't be the only one who raised kids out of obligation because, hey, there's a baby. This is what you do. You responsibly take care of a kid, even in marriage, because my parents are married, but they just don't have that Genesis quo
Jai Staton
@SistahSoul · 5:00
But also I've learned to be flat footed honest about it and considering who my parents were and their experiences and knowing more about them, unfortunately, after their physical departure from this world, than I ever knew about them when? They were here with me has opened up my eyes and my heart and the space for me to continue to be a better parent and a better person
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 1:55
And I was telling JL, I think my daughter is like that right now. She doesn't like me because she thinks that I was doing things wrong. But the only thing I ever did was try to help her, try to guide her and tell her right from wrong. And because she wanted to do wrong, she left. But anyway, thank you so much for sharing this. I really appreciate it
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:57
And just as with any relationship, you have to take time to get to know one another. Not all energies are going to connect. It's human nature. And all of a sudden, just because they have a title of cousin or aunt, uncle, grandmother, mom, dad, son, daughter, it's this idea that, oh, there's just instant connection
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:56
And that is a blessing. There's so much I've learned about my father and his passing. So I get what you're saying. I did not develop a relationship with him until my early twenty s. Now, I did grow up with my father in the home. My parents were married for 41 years, almost similar to your parents. And what I've learned I've learned so much about him in his passing
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 5:00
Oh, well, you were fed cloaked in the bare minimum. So I did my part checkmark to do it with a level of in a spirit of excellency. Yes, and I've heard that so many times from my mother. I was sharing with someone else who commented how she used to hide because she said I was too clingy and I would start shaking and screaming and crying out for her
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:56
And I know his sister and his mom have a really tight relationship. Hell, they all have a tight they have a group chat, and they're talking every day and video calling each other every day. And I observe with just like, my mouth waters when I witness it. It's just so pure and authentic, and we just don't have it. We do not have it whatsoever. We don't have it. And I wish that we did. We don't
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:53
Usually it's 05:00 A.m., but he's doing something. 05:00 A.m. Has gotten really large and so he's trialing this 04:00 A.m., which I love and I hope he keeps he yes. So anyway, so I was the first to show up and I was like, before my trainer pulls up and he's like, what are you doing? Just sitting in the car wasting time? You could be on the treadmill warming up