And I wanted to put it out here to the swell community. Enlighten me, please. I'm going to see. I'm going to end my swell. Enlighten me. The floor is open. Offer your thoughts, your experiences, your perspective. And I enjoy an engaging dialogue. And so if you have a different perspective, thought or opinion, it's safe here. Because really, I really want to know, why do people do this? My father
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:54
And when I did, I made sure he definitely has something of his to occupy himself. I said too, I understand your point. He definitely should have addressed the adults at the table. And I could also understand how this employee would see a kid playing with condiments, adults right there with the kid, not stopping the kid and thinking, wow, these are condiments I'll have to replace. And yes, you guys, in your eyes are just one family
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 2:41
I love this conversation, you know, oh, my goodness. You know what? This is what I tell people, because they know when they come to me, they're going to get an honest opinion. They're not going to get what they came to hear unless they ask me for that. Because I'll tell them when they're, when they're talking to me, I listen. And then I'll ask them, okay, do you want your sister's opinion?
Blair Redmond
@blairbearing · 2:56
Like, your post is about one thing, and then in the comment section, it becomes a whole different thing. And on swell, that plays out a little bit differently, right? Like, you make a post and then people comment, and then the conversation can go in many different directions. But in the big, grand scheme of things, me personally, I don't want to debate or argue with anybody. That's not something that I'm doing, especially with strangers
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:42
And so if they're coming from that angle, of course they don't want to hear the other side of it. If this is a person who's doing a job, who's responsible for what they've been assigned, and, no, your kid with their snotty fingers, because that's the first visual I got with these snotty fingers and boogers on their fingertips. No, you cannot touch the condiments that other people are going to touch. Like, no, they're not a toy
Like, if you spun it around the camera lens to look at a slightly different perspective of it, in this case, of what the mother did or didn't do with respect to bringing toys, they don't define those, but at the same time, I can sort of understand if they've got this tunnel vision of what they want to talk about and not, and then they're shocked or surprised by someone spinning it around and looking at it differently
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:03
Hey, I love that. I loved that you corrected yourself in the moment and honored the power of words, the power to create with words, and you manifested your own healing. Yes, I wanted to give a shout out to that first. Yes. And I touch and agree with you. You are well, thank you so much for, for adding to this conversation. And you know what?
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:57
Sometimes I'm like, stay out of kid business. There are some things, there's value in kids learning how to problem solve and solve conflict together and how do we share together? Yes. As the adult, set some boundaries and some expectations on what that looks like and hold them accountable to that and then just allow them to work it out
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:21
I'll repeat it here, which is I do that in person and it just gave me the idea because I don't do it on social media. Now, if someone posts that they're looking for feedback, I tend to just give the feedback from an honest space
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:41
It would really be helpful for direction to be given when people ask for that level of feedback on social media. So I like that also. So this is exactly why I followed my gut and posted this topic, pick on swell, because I knew that I would get so many engaging perspectives for me to consider moving forward as I make the decision to offer my honest feedback or not when asked on social media. So I truly do appreciate it. Thank you
And thank you. I sometimes think that I am communicating to people positive, reaffirming language around their perspective before offering my differing perspective. But apparently I'm not doing it in the right way and I want to be more. I'm torn on it. But hearing you describe how you're going to communicate online about these things is really helpful, so thank you
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 1:56
But there's a lot of stuff that I pass by on social media. I pass by stuff here, too. But at least here we're talking and we get each other's voices and inflections, and it does make for a real conversation. But when it's just typed out on social media, it's really hard. But there are things that I see, and I shake my head
Blair Redmond
@blairbearing · 0:22
You. As always, thank you for your words. And thank you for the reminder about conversation. Because, I mean, honestly, when I replied, I was not even thinking about that part. I wasn't thinking about the inspiration or any of that stuff. So thank you for the reminder. Definitely. Thank you for the reminder, because that is absolutely true
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 0:34
Oh, man, I gotta send you a private message because I probably shouldn't say what I was going to say just now. Anyway, it. Okay, my comment back to you is, surprise. It's a black family. Ha
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 3:12
No, I said, sir. I was like, I'm a big girl, sir, or whatever. And he was like, let me see. You don't look big to me. And I'm just like. He's like, send me a full body picture. And I'm like, no, because you said that you don't like bbws, and that's what I am. So there's no sense in me sending you a picture. And I was talking about that work
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:13
The other part, like you said, is the person who's asking, whoever the person is that's asking, really being clear with what they're looking for and what they're asking for. And then on the other end, like you did with your dating example, honoring what they're looking for
Natasha Nurse
@DressingRoom8 · 2:09
And it's just like, well, you asked for it. In reality, I don't believe most people are looking for feedback. I think people either say that because they think that that's the polite thing to do. They think that that's the woke thing to do. That's the thing that they should want to do because a good person should want to get feedback. But in actuality, in reality, no one needs permission to be able to give feedback, right?
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:49
I ask for feedback on, hey, like, look, I'm open to thoughts, suggestions, perspectives, opinions on the thought process, the concept of what age is too long to have your child in the house? Just in the house. And that really came from a space of, I really want to know, for the people who have older children, whether they still live at home, please share with me, if they will, your reasons why you still have them there
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 4:43
They asked me for help, but not that much. And so they are functioning adults. My nieces, on my nephew, on the other hand, are not. They're still, you know, holding on to the breast milk from their mom, and they struggle and, and one thing that just disturbed me was that my niece, who is struggling, who has two kids on her own, my sister gives her a hard time and she's struggling out there responsibility
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 1:39
Hey Luciana, it's Jl. Thank you so much for adding to this conversation, and it's also a blessing. I'm grateful to be able to hear your voice on this thread again
Natasha Nurse
@DressingRoom8 · 3:02
What I'm essentially alluding to is the idea that this really ties to storytelling and the art of mastering communication, because you can convey information in a way that gets your audience, whether that's an audience of one or 100 or more, to want to engage with you without having to say, hey, please engage with me. Hey, please ask questions
Michael Raper
@armyprof · 2:34
Talk to people about their favorite movies or television. People cannot separate something they enjoy from something that's good. And if you attack something they enjoy, they immediately go to defending it as good, even when it's not, because nobody wants to be seen as liking something that's bad. So the idea is if you're attacking something they enjoy, you're attacking them. Okay. Same thing with the feedback
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 1:55
I appreciate you framing it up that way, and I'm going to definitely aim to deliver it that way as consistently as possible moving forward. I look forward to listening to some of your content, checking out some of your spells, and hearing your voice again. Have a blessed day
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 0:09
Very, very helpful. I appreciate you expounding on the concept and answering the question