Even though I've done a lot of great work, I am still cleaning up residual dirt from me, operating from a place of niceness in my past and having to recap those details to him, with him and share with him my tentative plan of correcting it, going into the depths of credit score and total debt owed. And I felt myself shrinking inside. I heard old familiar voices of see, you're not good enough. You're not worthy enough
If that makes sense, right? That's what makes it beautiful. If it was precisely perfect, it would be boring. And it wouldn't inspire emotion or meaning. It's the imperfections, the entire package of the good and the bad. And when we can find other people that see that in us. What gift that is to us and us individually. And then us collectively in that partnership. Whether it's a friendship or a romantic partner
Maurice Lekea
@malekea · 4:46
So do not let fool by somebody asking you to be perfect or fool yourself saying, no, I have to be perfect in order to please this person. It's a waste of time. It's like you put your life on hold. That the things that you were not supposed to do, but you have to do because you want to be attracted to this person. And that's to open the door for somebody to take advantage of you. Just live your life normally
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 1:21
Hi, Jl. Thank you for sharing. This was beautiful. A beautiful share. Certainly relatable. I have done a lot of work, but I'm still there in trying to. And you don't have to be perfect while knowing I'm not perfect, right? So that's the crux. It's like no one can be perfect, but yet feel like you have to be perfect. And so it's just this damaging cycle that I've gone through. And so this is terribly relatable
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:07
And lastly, it doesn't serve us well, and it's a false perception that you are doing the right thing. I laugh also because before I've come to this level of understanding, if you will, I would say this to moms who had babies in the neonatal ICU, I would literally regurgitate these words without any true understanding of them. It just made sense
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:37
And that continuum that exists in my mind is a way for us to continue to maintain awareness, to have mindfulness of what we do well and what are opportunities. And all of these things make us us. And as you mentioned, I am going to continue the things that I do well and tweak the things that are opportunities from a space of pleasing myself first and loving myself first
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:10
Good evening, Angela, this is JL. Thank you, thank you. Thank you for sharing that and your observation. It is definitely a good space to be in and I am grateful for the experience and the connection I'm learning so much in. You and I have commented about this, another swell cast about how life experiences and relationships teach us about ourselves and being grateful for those opportunities to have that mirror held up in front of us so that we can learn and really see ourselves
And it's no wonder that some moms can end up feeling like they lose themselves, lose who they are, because suddenly they're told they must take on this new role. And almost that it usurps who they are. And yeah, that really stood out to me. Something else. It was a quote that I saw in the last 24 hours
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:54
And when I was reading her post in the group, it landed for me as your spirit, your inner spirit, man, your gut, your instinct for survival is already telling you what to do. This is not family relationships for you and you know it. She's looking for sign to make that next step forward. Just disheartening that so many of us, people, myself included, have gotten wrong messaging, but am grateful that we are doing and taking the steps to make it right
Oh, I like that. That deep down in your gut, you know, if you're asking that question publicly that you already know and that you're just seeking a cosine, I like that I'm putting a link here to the quote that you referenced just so that it's better articulated than whatever I butchered
