Redefining myself
And even as I was interacting with other people and I started to become clearer on what I was trying to accomplish, I wasn't given the appropriate space or understanding from the other person. All they could see was my emotions. They couldn't understand even if I verbally told them, this is the emotion, but this is what I'm thinking. They were never able to separate the two, and so they would limit me by their own limitations, which would always infuriate me
However, I saw his heart start beating. I heard him say that he knew what somebody else had and they were taking advantage of it. He appreciated me. I've always been the girl that was appreciated after the fact. I had friendships with pretty much all of my exes because that's just who I am. And yet in the eyes of the world, they'll find fault with that because how could you be friends with them?
I may not ever find somebody that will completely understand me and provide to me every avenue that I need in order to feel complete. And I accept that sometimes being lonely is not something that I am good with. I really do need interactions. I need physical touch. I need to know that I exist well beyond the Internet. And as I work to better myself, and I have these moments where I have these huge epiphanies, and my understanding of myself just comes a little bit clearer