Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 5:00
Single is like cancer for some people!
We're not choosing to be single by choice. If a man stays single for years, well, that's just what he wants to do. Doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong with him. It just means that he prefers to be by himself. Oh, people, the world that we live in, the judgmental
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 3:37
She does not got it together. And like I said in his defense, it may have been a time where that was the case. She may have had emotional issues, she may have had trust issues, it may have been a variety of things that was not in her best light in those years that she chose to be single. But that does not mean that you should base your decision to give this woman a fair chance on how long she's been alone
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:56
Now, the attachment disorder can go one of two ways, or it can go a combination of both, but it's going to be people pulling away because they're scared to get hurt again. Or people that want that love so badly and that family so badly that they will do exactly what you said and stay through some of the sickest s***. And I am that one
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:56
It's. Okay. Well, this man was a very nice man. He came off very, very nice, very swell. And we dated for right at about a year. My divorce still isn't final because we were fighting, because he didn't want to pay child support, whatever. But I ended up moving in with him, with my kids. It because I had to get out of that house, and this man offered it up like I'm never there
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:53
But he wouldn't go to counseling. All the s*** he told me before we got married, not going to happen. So now I'm four marriages in. And some of that's due to trauma. Some of that's just me picking the wrong people. But what does that look like to other people? Who's the problem when it's happened this many times? You know what I'm saying? And it makes it where now I will never get married again
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 5:00
I would end it, I would run away from it because I just couldn't handle it. And then I went through just not dealing with emotions stably after that. And so what I mean is that it was a time where I was comfortable being who I was, navigating the way I was when it came to men. And then it was the people around me like family and friends, that was making me feel odd for enjoying my own space and not being in a rush to find anyone
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 4:54
It and say, well, they weren't good people anyway, and I dodged a bullet. Versus me genuinely dating somebody real and nice and giving them what they deserve. As far as niceness, and then they switch up on me in a way that I never seen. And so not the player type that switches up from nice to cold because, you know, their niceness was just all flattery
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 5:00
And not to say that they didn't, because them telling me that it could be their fear, it could be their fear, it could be that it's nothing they're trying to intentionally do. But I remember all my life when it came to relationship, I didn't want to look a certain way. I didn't want to feel a certain way. I just didn't want to feel pain and hurt. I always felt awesome. I always felt great
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:28
I think, just from what I've heard, that you're an amazing person. So that's beautiful. And I think that the right person will get through it. Just make sure you see it when he's standing there. It's funny how the childhood trauma affects people differently and how in adulthood, we're finding out who we really are. Because I had to be the fighter. He had three girls, and he wanted a boy, and he wanted somebody tough