Evan Shannon
@evanbrookes · 2:51
The issue with "if I can do it, you can do it" mentality in recovery
So do I really need to stay away from bars or I can have one beer, or something like that tends to kind of be the sentiment that I get from that statement. So that's just really briefly my thought on that mentality. It's something that really bothers me when people say it
And he's not putting himself above anyone, because if that was the case, you wouldn't have any problem calling yourself an alcoholic. It wouldn't make any difference. Especially if it could help more people, because you can relate them more. So going back to the relation, the analogy of the guy in the hole. The guys in the hole is slick. Pretty deep hole. People walk by, say, the church walks by, hello, what's going on?
And that's why you got eight people total, because they're thinking it killed him. But it won't kill me, because I'm a true dope fiend or whatever the case may be. This is the mentality you're dealing with. So you got to be careful. And I see what you're trying to do here. I find it commendable. But a counselor is a counselor. An addict is an addict. Alcoholic is an alcoholic
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Antionette Wiggins
@Queen11 · 5:00
People are tired of walking to brick walls and not making it through or having to fight and struggle with life every day. People are tired. So let them vent if they need to vent, let them cry if they need to cry, let them sit there and breathe if they need to breathe. Nobody can handle the same wars the same way
You might have heard some of my story. I don't know. We don't compete with stories for who's worse or who's worse than this one or who's worse with that one. The fact of the matter is, we all got the same issue and we all put it down. And I got a bunch of people that can tell you 100% that they're the proof that you can do this. They're the proof that you can do this. You know what I mean?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:14
And if I'm not getting to where I need to be, apparently there's something I'm doing wrong and that I need to be doing different. That's not the way to go. That's not the way to help people. This whole quote, unquote tough love mentality. That's not the way to help people. And so I agree with this. Well, I agree with all of your points, and they were valid. I agree. Thank you so much
Whenever you get back or whenever you want to come, we'll still be here on whatever night it is and we're going to love you just the way you was before you went back out and I don't know. It's a good thing, it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing, but it's definitely nothing taken in an arrogant way or a tough love way or if I can do it, you can do it. It says in love saying that you ain't unique
Evan Shannon
@evanbrookes · 4:57
And I come from a very clinical perspective of these things. Right. I want to view things quantitatively. I want to be able to put down on paper a list of symptoms and be able to look at it from that perspective. Right. That's not diminishing someone's experience. That's actually validating it by saying this is actually a common thing. This is something that a lot of people deal with to different degrees of severity. So how do you define alcoholism? How do you define an alcoholic?
Hey, what's up, Evan? Mike. I wasn't trying to question your credentials, chief, but what I'm saying is to keep it simple. Like no studies, just straight up. Someone who goes to seek help to get off alcohol is an alcoholic. People that don't have problems with alcohol don't go seek help. Another good clue is if you know the exact date when you stop drinking. That's another good clue, but that's how that's done
Evan Shannon
@evanbrookes · 5:00
I have never in my three years of experience as a peer specialist had someone say to me, well, I don't feel that we can relate because you don't refer to yourself as an alcoholic. And I do. We still find ways to relate because regardless of how we refer to it, we still have a problem with alcohol. And that's ultimately what it comes down to, is how can we relate to each other? Words only mean what we apply to them
Evan Shannon
@evanbrookes · 5:00
But for me, it's different. I didn't have to go to rehab. I didn't get the shakes when I quit drinking. I don't consider myself an alcoholic and I don't reduce myself to my diagnoses. It's not because I look down on people that do, but it's because I get to control the narrative around my recovery, right? Nobody else gets to do that for me, just like I don't get to do that for other people
Everybody goes through that, or I went through that and it's all good because it's scary. You know what I mean? It's scary. So, yeah, not only do I identify, but I'll break my anonymity to help somebody else. You have to tell these people what to do because they broke down and they're basically asking they've come for help. So you can't say, well, you can just hang out and just stop drinking. Maybe you're not an alcoholic
I don't know if you guys do any aftercare and check and see how they're doing afterwards, but there are certain things that have to be established right from the beginning. And one of them is you didn't come here for nothing. The other one is you are definitely an alcoholic. And the one after that is if you work this program, it's going to work for you. If you take the suggestions and work the program, you may relapse whatever. It don't make no difference
Nikkeita Sharrma
@Natureadds · 3:44
We feel that, come on, I don't want to do this just because you did it, it felt right to you, doesn't mean it should feel right for me. So be it any kind of recovery, be it addiction or mental health or anything for that matter, it doesn't work that way
And everybody comes in pretty much the same way from the age some of them come in 1516 years old, some of them come in 55, 56 years old. But all of them suffer from the disease of addiction, and they need help to learn how to live all over again, because you lose everything in those streets. You lose social graces. You lose whatever kind of thing that made you human. You don't even feel human
After you get that first drink, what's going to happen? Nothing. Okay, then you're going to feel like you can drink again. So tomorrow night, what's going to happen? I'll probably get drunk. Okay. Then the night after that, you'll probably drink again because you're feeling pretty good. What happens after that? Then I'm headed for the city, and I'll probably get some drugs
And my biggest problem besides the work and dealing with the people that work in the safety and stuff was deciding when I got my car, was it going to look like a stereotype that black people always buy Cadillac and was I going to look mike a stereotype? I came a long way and I'm so grateful. That's why I hope people see that when I get excited, you know what I mean? Or when I'm speaking passionately, it's not because I'm mad