I Can’t Handle Your Criticism…..
And of course, I always welcome, it's nice to hear good things about your work. But when you hear those constructive criticism or even negative criticism, it's very, very hard for me to take. And it's definitely something of a growth. And for me, in my own life, I'm so blessed because I am surrounded by people in my own family who don't spare me from constructive criticism. They're very honest. My sister is a very honest person
Gunjan Joshi
@Bibliophile · 4:42
And between sisters also, there are two sisters and the sister also waste a lot of time. Nobody tells her. They don't tell each other. They don't correct each other. So I think it is really a bad thing when people are let loose without any regulation, any kind of regulation. And people producing bad content on Instagram and Facebook are a proof that there is nobody to regulate them at all. So thank you for such a thought provoking swell. You have a great day
Hi candy. When you are expressing yourself as I can't handle your criticism, I was relating it to myself because I'm also the same kind of person and whatever experience you shared. Exactly same which is applicable to me. So slowly what I did is I started doing one thing as soon as someone says something, I started it, analyzing the previous aspects, whether I did it or whether they are wantedly saying it
Himanshi Thakur
@GreyMatter · 4:59
Hi, Candy. Good morning. Thank you for posting this early in the morning because, you know, it led me to ponder as to how do I handle criticism? And it took me sort of on an inner journey. So thank you for posting this. And, you know, I'm just like you. I'm just like you because I am also somebody who wants to do and does things with utmost perfection. And when anybody points out at a flaw in it, my ego gets hurt
Swati Sharma
@Swatiselflove · 4:22
Hi candy. I so very agree with you when you said that it's not that easy for us to handle criticism, especially when we have worked. We have toiled really harder for that particular thing which we are eagerly looking forward to present to the world out there. And we are hungry for that appreciation. We want someone to appreciate us for our worth. But the point remains that people have often set standards of excellence against which they keep on trying us against those levels of perfections
Maurice Lekea
@malekea · 3:59
Hello, candy. Thanks for inviting me to this conversation. But please allow me to say a few things that you may disagree with me, which is fine. Criticism is not something that has a human, that we like to hear. That is a human nature. We like to hear how great it we are, how wonderful we are, how good we did. And we don't have a room to accept something that is so negative and that it's not only you
Once I can figure out to the best of my ability and what I take in, right, what's something to work with, what's something that's theirs, and what's something just to leave on the floor, so to speak, then there's freedom in that for me, and I can pick up and carry on and work towards, move towards creating something new again, holding it loosely in my fingers. I think there is immense beauty in the imperfect
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:09
It. You know, the interesting thing about criticism is that I can handle criticism if I know it comes from the right motive. Because some people criticize with the intent to hurt and to harm and to offend. And so I'm okay with criticism as long as I know it comes from a loving place, a caring place, a place of somebody wanting to see me grow, somebody helping me be aware of my blind spots and things that could potentially become a hindrance to that growth
I mean, I would have liked to receive praise, but that's just a personality. And later I just decided to praise myself on those areas. Maybe that's why I'm critical. I inherited it from her. So. Oh, well, we are just raised the way we are, so I completely understand when you were talking about your parents and that aspect of it, and as you mentioned, using examples in your own life, your friends. Right
And I think you also additionally mentioned that, yes, whatever said and done, right? Whenever we receive this criticism, of course, it's like you kind of do get some emotion about it. You're like, you don't like hearing it. Candy. I think definitely when it comes to negative criticism from people, it's still not nice hearing about it. Sometimes I get criticized about why are you doing that? Especially when it comes to my more creative outlets
So I think that's important point to take away, actually, because our work, whatever we do, is very tied into our image and our identity, I think, in a lot of ways, at least for me. So when I do something actually, that's brilliant. I think that's brilliant, dude. Our egos are so interconnected with what we produce. So our art is a reflection of us. Our poetry is a reflection of us. Our writing is a reflection of us
And the only thing that's going to happen is our sense of this kind of worth, man, we didn't reach that. We're always going to fall short, as you said. And man, that is a wisdom to take away because I'm definitely someone who's constantly, when I am running a race, I'm always looking at what is left rather than I've done enough, rather than celebrating the milestones that I've taken, rather than being like, hey, this is good
So you can't be afraid of being told that, yeah, sometimes they'd be like, hey, candy, whatever sport it was, if it was volleyball, they would come and give me some tips, like, hey, when you take it, make sure that you take it from this angle or to set or whatever, but they give their feedback. Right. So this was when I played, like, volleyball
It takes lot of courage and time for the people to accept and for giving any feedback or helping trying to figure out some mist telling that somebody is doing some mistake or something need to be done differently then the first thing is one need to be sensitive and careful about it that whether the person is ready to accept or take that once you see that person is ready and having open mind or that mindset is there then only it will work
Rather than holding it so tightly and I feel like almost suffocating it, I think what I got out of it was flexibility, allowing something to be in the results to be with you enough that you're okay with adding, subtracting, molding, allowing it to have room for that flexibility. And adaptability doesn't have to be a whole. And I just loved that concept. So that was the first part. The second part was also quite brilliant
And that means what I thought about was that even the toughest of people, I think if they are exposed to a constant stream of negative criticism, it can get to us, because that is the power of words. But I liked what you said. I think you were talking about discernment. I think in your own life you have learned the knack of discerning what is good criticism and what is not
And that is so true because if no matter how much you want to give any sort of criticism to anyone, if the person receiving it is not in a mental state to receive it, then they're not going to understand it, and they probably are not listening to your words at all, or they may even react badly. And that is an important point to take away. So thank you for sharing the response
So recently, God has been working in my heart to speak the truth. Previously, I've been hesitating to speak my own truth or to speak certain truths that I see because I'm afraid of conflict
So stop trying to control what people are thinking, because no matter what you do, they are going to find a fault with you. Whether it is destructive criticism or constructive criticism. Because we never see the whiteboard. We always see the black on the whiteboard. That's how we have been programmed to work out. What I would suggest is that I always say that you should have an inner circle where you can go back
But thank you for putting that out there. And I think I really resonated with that kind of driven. Driven. That's a very driven, like, this way or that way person. And I'm constantly surrounded by people like that, and they're the type of people who give you energy. So thanks for the energy boost, and I'm going to go definitely get things done. Okay. I hope you have an amazing day. Raj it. And I will catch you the next time