Now, the reason that I'm sharing this story with you is not to put down these lovely aunties. I love them to the core or to show anyone that I'm some honorable person. But to give you an example of how judgment works and why it is so damaging, and I feel like in a lot of ways, when we judge others, oftentimes love and kindness exit the room. We pinpoint and fixate on characteristics that we just do not like about someone and make it their entire identity
Rakesh Kumar
@RakeshKumar2023 · 2:52
You have raised such an important topic with great examples. Each of us has feel, has felt many times that people become judgmental. I have heard people saying, oh, he is from particular religion. So he will be like this. He belongs that particular caste, so he may be like this. People see a girl wearing revealing clothes and they think she will be modern. She will be modern in thoughts, but opposite can be there
Hi, Candy. Happy New Year. Once again, I think you have said a very valid topic. Judgment. And I have been judged every time. You know, not that I am complaining, but you feel judged on my habits, judged on my writing, judged for the way I look. And one should accept the person with the way they are. Nobody's perfect, right? So that's all I would say. Thank you so much. And see when in another swell. Bye
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Himanshi Thakur
@GreyMatter · 5:00
And I don't really blame the aunties, also, because they have been part of this ecosystem, right? This is how we have been conditioned. How many of us are taught to ask questions, to rebel, to challenge the prevalent ideas? Our education system is not like that. Our family structures are not like that
Anu Sham
@Anu_Budhrani · 0:50
Hi, Candy. Ma'am, judging a person totally on his dress is very wrong. He may have good characteristics. Everybody has good points and bad points. And it's very disheartening when people comment on you, especially strangers on the way you walk and boys commenting on girls. A girl feels very uncomfortable in such a situation, so we must always take care of as to what we judge. And sometimes critical judgment hurts
Hello, Anu, and thank you so much for your response to this. Well, and you are right. I think one of the things you mentioned was it can be very hurtful to people, and it's not very pleasant to be judged or to hear those judgments. I mean, all of us automatically judge certain things about certain people. Right. But imagine hearing that. And to hear how you word judged, it's definitely not good and it's not pleasant
People love putting others in boxes because in their little Minds and their minute brains, they are only able to process so much. So when they can't see grays, they can't see shades of gray. So it's tough. It's tough many a time. So, fine, have your prejudices. It's something you've been conditioned to believe in. And as an adult, you have grown into it. But the gossiping bit, not so much
I always believe in this particular perspective, so thank you so much for clearly explaining how judgments are harmful and how we should overcome this aspect. Thank you so much, Candy. Have a great day
Hello, Himanshi, and thank you so much for your response. And you're absolutely right, dude. It is a privilege. You got that literally. That's the nail on the head right there. And I think the reason being that the privilege comes from the more freedom that we have been given. And it isn't always the same for different generations, right? Or even different cult or different microsocieties that they are. And I think my mom also has talked about this
And personally, I feel like over time, I've learned to develop. I shouldn't say I've learned. I'm learning to develop thick skin. That I get to a place where I tell myself I really don't care what other people think of me. I truly care about what I think of myself. That I am a good person. That I am comfortable the way I am, the way I speak, the way I act, the way I think, the way I dress
So we can never tell. We really can't tell. And you also mentioned that we try to define people based on what caste they come from. And I think this is something I've definitely observed in India a lot, like where we try to say, oh, he or she is from this caste, and that's why they behave like that
I really just zone out. But these aunties. But if it's something that I feel like is really weird, I'm like, what are you talking about? And I think my filter just shut off. But next time I think I'm going to try using humor. I'm going to try using humor, and I'm going to be like, okay, this is how we're going to do that. I'll let you know how that goes
Just name it, you know, on their religious, in, sex, culture, nationality, like, being judged for just who you are and having to listen to that is another thing. So it takes a very courageous person to overcome the judgments against themselves and also to recognize that we are also not perfect, that we also judge other people and to be aware of it. And to yourself and others