Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
I got in trouble on a Christian Dating page because I dont want to discuss sex with a man before we are exclusive. I am abstinent.
Like, why when I get engaged to somebody, then, yeah, we're going to have extensive conversations about sex because I needed to know, do you have any proclivities? Do you have any fetishes? Is there anything I should be aware of? Have you ever had any sexually transmitted diseases? Like, we're going to talk about all that stuff. We don't talk about positions and how many times we going to have sex. A week, a month, all that
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
You can say no, but it's hard, okay? Let's just be honest. And so you shouldn't be doing that. You shouldn't be doing no heavy kissing with no body. A kiss here, a kiss there, that's cool. Holding hands, that's cool. Maybe putting your arms around each other, that's cool. Giving each other a hug when you see each other, giving each other a hug before you leave, giving each other a hug, that's cool
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 2:36
If you're not as mature in God as I am, that's fine, because there may be some areas where you're maturing God and I'm not. So that's fine with me. But when somebody tries to talk me out of my conviction, when somebody tries to talk me out of feeling how I feel and believing what I believe, then that's where I have a problem
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:52
Can we give oral sex? Can we do hand jobs, funneling touching, masturbating? What can we do short of actual intercourse? And you have some out there that are willing to tempt that. They're willing to tempt that line. They're willing to get as close as possible. I totally agree. Deep discussions about sex are reserved for serious exclusive relationships as the things you listed out, and even things like sexual trauma. Is my future husband, has he been sexually abused?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:52
I also believe that a lot of the conversations that take place in these Christian groups are really just for the singles to tickle their flesh a little bit. They just want to talk about sex, to be talking about sex. Most of you all are sexually experienced. It all works the same way in marriage as it did when you weren't married. And so sometimes these people want to have sexual conversations and act like just completely dumb when it comes to sex within marriage. It's the same sex
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
Yeah, and that's my point. And that's what I was trying to get them to understand. Even in that group, I'm on two different pages, and in neither one of these pages have people been very explicit about sex. Most of the time when people try to bring up sex or like living together or having sex before marriage, I will say in the one group that I'm more active in than the other one most of the time
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 1:24
I'm gonna say this really quickly because I didn't intend to do a twopart, but I like when the men respond. I like interacting with the men, and it's not because I'm trying to get with them. I just like when the men respond. I like what? When they talk
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:20
There are certain things you're going to see, certain scenes you're going to see. I'm not to say that you're looking for it, but nowadays just about every TV show and every movie has something sexual in it. It's kind of hard to avoid. And so there are going to be times where you're going to hear something or hear a song that you used to rock to or something, and it's going to turn you on
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 4:54
Yeah. These dating apps are hit and miss, especially the ones that are quote unquote for Christians. I don't know. Human beings are human beings. They can hide behind an app, a keyboard. They can be sitting next to you at church. They pretend to be one way, and they're not. What I have learned in my journey is I don't have to answer a question that you ask if I don't want to answer it
Robert Jenkins
@Guruball1 · 1:20
Yeah, sister. The brother was completely disrespectful. You don't ask someone anything sexually especially. That's just like a woman calling and asks me, are you long all over? Or ask me something like that. No, you don't ask things like that. You get to know an individual. You try to find out your likes and your dislikes. You try to understand where you both are trying to go in life. What are you guys trying to do them have fun conversations?
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:09
I don't get out a lot in the churches that I go to. There are not a lot of single men in the churches that I go to, and if they are single, they're way younger than me, and I'm not trying to date somebody the same age as my children. So, yes, I've been on the dating apps before. Yes, I have, and people can feel how they want to feel about it. I really don't care
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:37
And so it's like, when you don't do those things, they like, well, what's wrong with you? Well, what's wrong with you that you even asking me to do that? What's wrong with you? Not a lot of people sometimes dating and I've heard this from men and women, sometimes people feel like they're getting older and so they don't have much time to be with somebody. So they'll put up with foolishness
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 0:52
And I think that you did great in having boundaries, um, getting in trouble or whatever. You got the right to say what you gonna say, just like they had the right to say what they gonna say. But I'm like you. I believe that sex is something that should be held between two people who are united, and I think that it should be people who are in relationship that talk about those things