Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:57
#AskSwell Dating-When should someone tell you about their criminal history? Especially sex crimes
So I was sitting here driving, driving along, actually thinking, and I have a question about dating. So I'll give you the scenario. So I was dating a gentleman. This was years ago, dating this gentleman, and just nothing bad about the gentleman, but just got like I don't know. There was something I just couldn't put my foot my finger on
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:29
I don't think that he should wait until he has your heart to tell you something like that. But again, I don't think there's any right time because I understand why he's probably withholding that information, because he can't control the way you're going to respond to that. And that's when you have to tell people difficult things, period. You can't control how they're going to respond
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:38
And I said that to just say, like here in Michigan, it's very racist, especially for those type of relationships or those type of interactions. But yeah, for me, I just feel like when you meet somebody I'm not saying the first conversation say that, but after you've talked to them, if we've talked on the phone for maybe like a week and maybe we've been on a couple of dates. Okay, Coles, let's go sit down and talk. Right
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:58
And I've had family members that have had mixed responses to this and most of them saying from a judgmental space, what is he doing dating? He does not need to think about dating. He just needs to let that part of his life go. And what I've said to them is let's go back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, food, housing, safety, sex and being in companionship with someone is on that lower foundational level
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:51
And I appreciated that there was a small twin of me that was like but then I said, no, I respect that. If he is known on social media as this name, then that's the name that he likely is also on the dating profile using and it makes sense
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:44
Hello. Thank you, J l for your responses. And I am so glad that your cousin had you, your family member had you in his life so that you could give him that guidance, because that was very good. That was very good. And I wish people were just more honest and open about things. And again, you don't have to go into details on the first date, but to make somebody aware so that they can make a choice of how they want to proceed
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:00
People say derogatory things about people like that, right. Without actually finding out what's the reason why. Right? But I still tell people because that's something that you should know, especially when I was done dating and I was younger and my children were younger, where their dad would still have to come over the house or I'd have to go over his house to drop them off or pick them up or whatever like that, right?