Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
#AskSwell why do we always blame the single mother? I saw something "too many feminine men & too many masculine women.
But nobody ever says anything about the dad who ain't around to be a positive influence in his son's life and to raise that son and be there for him. And here's the reason why it struck me. So my daughter's cousin posted because her and her children's father, she has two children by the same man, her and her children's father have decided because her son asked if he could move and live with his father. Now he's a teenager. And so she said yes
Now, the issue is that with the single mother phenomena and the idea of it's the single mother's fault, a great deal of that is such a problem because of the way our media works where you have independent women and you have this idea of so many different patriarchal issues that black men are unfortunately at fault for. We're holding women down to being housewives and all these types of derogatory roles that we think white men only do to their women, but we partake in as well
And we're hearing a lot of masculine women, feminine men. We're hearing a lot of different alpha red pill bullshit. Excuse my language. It's very difficult and I think navigating these narratives in a world that has never been fair to black people and now hearing our own people now having access to headphones and a microphone, not having intelligent discussions about solutions and how to better ourselves, at least not to better ourselves in larger numbers, we don't hear a lot of that
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:51
He can't really model that. And so, yeah, there are a lot of things that boys can miss out on in particular when they are brought up with just a mother and not a father. And so your daughter, I think you said, wants to send her son to live with his father. I think that's great. I think that's a great idea, because DL. Huey used to say, in order to be a man, you have to see a man
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:02
You don't really see a lot of white women doing this or non black women doing it. Not to say that of course we have single moms in every race, but black women are more vocal about out their issues with the single motherhood. And I think that's why we see more of it in the media, is because they're the ones that are the one talking about it the most. So, yeah, those are my thoughts. But thank you so much
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:56
And so that was our little joke. But things of that nature, I was trying to teach him. And so, like, the example that you gave, I agree about women doing that because I remember when my great nephew I remember when my great nephew was born and his mom and his granny and his great granny were all trying to they all kept him with him, right? And they were like babying him and stuff. And so my dad was not having it
Patrick Derns
@patasd101 · 2:49
And I thank God for him every time I think about him. So as far as females are concerned, I really can't comment on that. But again, I do see a large majority of female else who had that macho mentality, and it's very little femininity in them. So there you go. I just wanted to respond to that as best as I could. And you have a good day, and God bless. Bye
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Patrick Derns
@patasd101 · 0:46
You. It's funny that you mentioned the snow and the trash. These are all the things that my mother required me to do. We had a coal stove. I had to take care of the fire. I call them the little things that had to be done because my sisters did the majority of work, which was sewing, iron, doing dishes, cleaning. And I had that area in the house where anything that needed to be lifted, groceries had to come in. That was my job
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:59
Just keep doing what you do to the point where now when my granddaughter got ready to go to when she got ready to go to her banquet for her little 8th grade banquet, my daughter went and picked up her mama and brought her mama over so her mama could help her get dressed. Because the mama ended up realizing, like, dang, my daughter is doing a lot better over here with her daddy
You don't come in here and tell me how much you think your child's worth. So I'm going to make sure that you say nothing. I'm going to embarrass you and hold her up on some type of small pedestal to where she knows that I'm working with her. That's what happened. She tried to take me back for an increase
I mean, at one point, it was like somebody getting killed every night if not two or three people. But let y'all this is a good topic. Sorry it took so long, but these courts beat me up, boy. I'm sorry. I tell you something, but I did what I was supposed to do. I did what I was supposed to do. I didn't go to jail
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00
Good morning, Andrea. Okay, so you came across something that read, in today's world, there are too many feminine men and too many masculine women. Underneath. Someone posted, Single women raising boys are teaching them to be feminine. You know, when I was growing up, and whenever you saw a guy that had feminine ways, chances are he grew up in a home with a lot of sisters
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 3:52
But more importantly, or what is equally important was a question that was asked in the swell why is everything the single mother's fault? That's a swell by itself. But I dismiss things like that because all single mothers at fault. For some stuff, yes, but not everything. I know better than that. I wouldn't even entertain such an asinine thought that a person may harvey anybody that it's a good question because it seems like single mothers are at fault
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 1:39
So I understand that, and I agree with that. I also understand and agree with the fact that influence, it does. It plays such a big part. And not all mothers are teaching their sons what they should be teaching them. And not all mothers are doing what they should be doing. I understand that. I do, but
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
It's. So thank you. To Tanya. To Miss Cole 77. To Nikia Antoinette. To dear Auntie Ange. To Mike Scribe. Seven seven. To K-W-I-D-S edward. Thank you. To you. To Neo Neophyte Savant. Thank you to all of you for your replies. But to be perfectly honest with you, you all just proved my point. Women are blamed. Now, here's the thing again
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:54
She lived with him full time. And she is thriving. She is thriving. She's a whole different girl because he kept pullings, II, the work to make sure he was in his daughter's life. And so, yeah, I get it. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's hard for these men. I get it. These women make it hard. But he got to still keep on trying, because it's not about her. It's about the kid
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 2:33
If anybody got offended and felt like I was yelling at them, please know that I was not. I just get very passionate about things that concern just concern our youth, our generations that are coming up. And I feel bad for the generations that are already here, the men that don't know how to do things and don't know how to be a man. And they walking around here switching and all that kind of stuff
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00
And I know I gave a very short reply and I said that are single women responsible for some things? Yes. Are they responsible for everything? Absolutely not. And I went on to say that I believe that's. Asinine for anyone to actually think that single mothers are responsible for auto blame for everything, I wouldn't even entertain that. I did mention that. I know better than that
We weren't going to put up with it anymore. And so there was a backlash against men. So men became more feminine. And I guess you could call it feminine. They, they I'll say they became less masculine. Women became more masculine because the parts had changed because men were not doing their part. So women had to do the part of both woman and man because man was absent most of the time, if not all of the time
For real and maybe make some changes but people are going to be people and I got to believe that every child is born to that family for a reason and God ain't going to put too much on us than we can handle. I mean I hate to go there but it's that deep. But thanks for the topic SIS. I want to try to shed a little bit of different light on it
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:58
I was watching Dr. Phil and Dr. Phil talked about how a single mother who brings in a man in the home, that daughter is more likely to be sexually abused than a husband and a wife raising their children because that man doesn't know that man has no ties to that child is what they were saying. What he was saying. And he had the statistics and it seemed good. And so, yeah, I think about that. Right
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:29
I agree with this wholeheartedly I had a friend who had four sons that she was raising as a single mother and she would scream at these boys. She would rough these boys up all the time. And in her mind she was like, I don't want these boys to ever think they can get big enough to beat me up. So I roughed them up to let them know that I'm not the one. They can, they can fight. And I mean, she would scream
You. I don't think men know anything about women. I think we are the biggest mystery to them. My comment?